THE WORKSHOP NEWSLETTER

Below is our current monthly newsletter. To subscribe, go to our newsletter/lists area or directly to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/oww-sff-news-only.



O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, July 2004
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!

| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

- Workshop News:
    T-shirts, buttons, and conundrums
    Workshop focus chats
    August writing challenge
    Market information
    Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for June submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback


| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

This month's Horror Editor's Choice review was selected and written by
Gary A. Braunbeck, who recently won the Bram Stoker Award for his
short story "Duty." Gary's novel IN SILENT GRAVES was published in
April, so he's been extraordinarily busy of late and we're glad he
could make time to share his horror expertise with us this month.

Continuing the good news from members applying for and attending other
workshops, Damselfly M. reports that she's the first person to be
accepted to Clarion South for next year. Her submission story was
"Brolga Dreaming." She says: "It was written earlier this year for a
competition (no win), and was indeed workshopped. Which jogs my
memory: my thanks again to Greg Hamel, Maura McHugh, Kenneth Rapp,
Kirk Rafferty, Eric Bresin, Elizabeth Porco and Ken Woods. (If I've
left anyone out of that list, it's because I'm at work with a faulty
memory.)"

In other good news, this month's Sales and Publications section
contains a first novel publication, a first story publication, and a
foreign-language translation. Congratulations to all member successes!


T-SHIRTS, BUTTONS, AND CONUNDRUMS

So here's the deal. We're thinking about printing up some more
OWW-SFFH T-shirts, and/or making some OWW buttons. The shirts have the
logo and workshop name on the front, and workshop name and URL along
with "Just Write!" on the back. They are all cotton and would be $20
shipped in the US. 20% of the $20 for the t-shirts ($4 per shirt) will
go to the workshop scholarship fund! Shirts would be ready by
WorldCon.

We took a mailing-list poll on this, and asked in last month's
newsletter, and there were only about 20 replies expressing interest.
Those who are interested are enthusiastic! But the numbers aren't
really high enough for us to go back to our shirt printer at this
time.

So here's a second chance to register your interest if you think you'd
like a shirt or buttons. Either e-mail us at workshop support:
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com or
support(at)sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com -- thanks!


WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS

Mark your calendars for the following upcoming writing chats:

7/21      Jodi Meadows @ 8 pm
7/28      David St. Germain
8/4       Jaime Voss

The focus stories are posted on the OWW with the word "focus" in the
title. All chats are held in the DROWWZoo chat room on AIM.  For more
information, e-mail Pen Hardy or IM her at PKHardy.


AUGUST WRITING CHALLENGE

This came in to the mailing list from Jodi Meadows:

*Donning her dictatorly robes, the Challenge Dictator walks onto the
stage.  Ferret-unicorns run through the crowd getting everyone's
attention.  Once they are done poking ankles with their horns, the
Dictator speaks...*

Your August challenge is *--she unrolls a parchment--* The Chariot.

Please remember to put "August Challenge" in your title and not to
post your challenge submissions till August first.  As always, don't
be afraid to try something new -- horror, sf, space opera... anything
goes.  Have fun.

*The Challenge Dictator exits the stage, ferret-unicorns running after
her*

For more details on the challenges, check the Challenge home page at:
(http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html).


MARKET INFORMATION

OWWer Margaret Fisk recently became the Features Editor at _Vision_
and sent us this call for articles and reviews. "_Vision: A Resource
for Writers_ is an award-winning electronic magazine providing
articles and reviews that target both new and experienced writers. We
are looking for articles and reviews between 500 and 2000 (soft top)
words.  Vision pays $0.005 (one half cent) per word up to 2000 ($10
max). The reviews must be for Web sites and books that aid in the
process of writing whether through providing world building
information, writing techniques, marketing resources or other
writing-oriented information. We are currently seeking Web site
reviews for the September-October and the November-December 2004
issues with cutoff dates of August 10th and October 10th, but would be
interested in hearing about material for next year as well." Query or
submit articles and reviews to Vision@lazette.net. Full guidelines can
be found at http://www.lazette.net/vision/Vision22/submit.htm

And OWWer Nigel Read sent us this: "_Superluminal 1_ is a science
fiction anthology seeking submissions from Australian writers. In
addition to more traditional sf, cross-genre stories (eg sf/whodunnit,
sf/romance, sf/satire, sf/horror) will also be considered, so long as
the central premise for the story remains sfnal in some way and there
are no fantasy elements in the story. Please do not submit stories in
which the sf elements are merely setting. I have, so far, accepted 10
stories for _Superluminal 1_ (reprints by Greg Egan, Sean Williams and
Jack Dann, and original stories by Richard Harland, Geoff Maloney, Jay
Caselberg, Trent Jamieson, Ion Newcombe, Chris McMahon and Mark
Healy). Together, they amount to a tad under 100,000 words. Don't
panic, though... the anthology will probably go to 150,000-160,000
words." For more information, check out the Web site at
www.users.bigpond.com/saxonblue2003/superluminal1


MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION

How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi
(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a
fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks
and some post offices).  If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).

Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not.  We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member.  Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.

Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them.  So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip
for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!

For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml


| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors.  Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.

Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, James Patrick Kelly, and Kelly Link,
and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni
Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their
editorial reviews are archived on the workshop.  Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices."

Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!

Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
DAEMON QUEEN 12 by Aaron Brown

The twelfth section of Aaron Brown's _Daemon Queen_ is a pretty good
"rough" draft. It's the follow-up chapter to his characters' capture
by a mind-seer. Because safeguarding Ariana, "a girl trained by the
Magi," is extremely important, Gedrim (the older Magi) sacrifices
himself so that Christo (the protagonist) can escape.

I liked the direction this section was going and had hoped to learn
more about the mind-seers. The threat they posed was hinted at in the
previous section, but did not fully manifest here. Since the tension
was not exploited here, the escape and confrontation with the
mind-seer didn't have as much impact as I'd hoped.

The fine details describing and showing the reader the various magical
systems in play are missing here. How does the magical barrier jailing
Christo and Gedrim work? How does the mind-seers' magic work? What
makes them different, weaker, stronger, or immune to the magic of the
Magi? Why didn't Christo use his magic or power on the troll guarding
him? Why didn't he use it on Mirot or why didn't Mirot use his
mind-seer power on Christo?

Not only would the details about the magic systems help strengthen
this particular section, but it would also give the overall story more
depth. Brown writes in the summary that Christo is bound to a daemon
in section one. Can what happened in section one be applied here; is
it part of what makes the Magi? If so, an explanation/description of
why it can not be used while captured by the mind-seers would help to
build the image of the Magi.

Clarification of the characters would help strengthen the concluding
part of section twelve. Ariana acts like she was betrayed by the Magi,
but because I have no reason to think she was told anything else, this
anger at Christo and Gedrim feels empty. Christo could reiterate his
feelings about the quest; where are they going and why are they going
there? What makes Ariana so important to the Magi that Gedrim would
sacrifice his life? Since the pov is a tight 3rd person on Christo,
this would help the reader understand Christo's reluctance to confront
Ariana and still reinforce the goal his character believes must be
accomplished.

All in all, this section feels like it's going in the right direction.
Aaron Brown wrote in his author's notes that it was a very rough
draft, and I think with a bit of polish, this can be a terrific
section of action and character development. I enjoyed the trolls
although I would really like some more physical descriptions. (What do
they look, smell, sound like?) And I agree with many of the comments
that the confrontation with Janus could use a revision to make it seem
less anti-climactic. Keep up the good work -- this is going to be a
very enjoyable novel.

--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books


Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
ALCHERINGA, Ch.s 1 & 2 by Sandra McDonald

Sandra has submitted these opening chapters of a novel that she has
already completed and polished.  It shows.  ALCHERINGA looks to be
quite an accomplishment, judging from what I read here.  It features
ambitious world building; the starfaring Seven Sisters civilization is
complex and vividly suggested.   Even better is her depiction of the
starship Aral Sea.  Most spacer fiction looks outward to stars and
planets and the reader's impression of the ship itself is often vague.
 Although Sandra's description of the ship is spare, it is also sharp
and sensual: "That first whiff of the Aral Sea's air -- clean but
recycled, cool and faintly scented with machine oil -- should have
kicked her in the stomach." And "The ship's air and drive systems
hummed in the background, punctuated by occasional com announcements."
And "Bartis brought out a ship's gib and had Jodenny sign for it. She
was happy to see it was a modern model, without any scuffs or
scratches."

But Sandra's real accomplishment in this section is in the creation of
the crew of the Aral Sea.  Not only has she managed to establish
several compelling characters in a short span but also she has also
deftly portrayed the crew as a working unit with rivalries seething
just under the surface. As one character puts it, "The Aral Sea is not
a happy ship."  Sandra wastes no time in exploring some of the ways it
is possible for a disciplined group to be unhappy.   Although I must
say that I'm not exactly an avid fan of military sf, I've certainly
read my share.  And Sandra's command of the interstices of command
structure and military psychology is truly impressive.

That being said, I will say that I found the opening few pages a tad
dense. Consider the seventh paragraph of this book.  "Lu gave her a
jaunty salute and headed off toward the barracks, circling around a
miniature sculpture of Wondjina Spheres as he went. With breakfast
over and the cadets in class, Alice Training Base's peaceful air was
broken only by the hum of DNGO robots cutting the grass over on the
soccer fields. Beyond the main gate, a eucalyptus forest filled with
koala bears stretched all the way to the pink and beige sandstone of
the MacBride Mountains. Earth must have looked like that once, long
ago, before the Debasement, but Jodenny had no time for beautiful
landscapes and instead went inside the cool, ink-scented lobby of the
building behind her."

Now these are all sturdy sf sentences and I can't point to any one of
them and say it clearly ought to be deleted.  But the reader has just
wandered into this book and must already hold Wondjina Spheres, the
Alice Training Base, DNGO robots, a eucalyptus forest filled with
koala bears, the MacBride Mountains and some historic event called the
Debasement in short term memory.  You have to be a wicked smart to
keep up with this novel!

At the center of these chapters is Lt. Jodenny Scott, who, as the
curtain rises, is recovering planetside from a catastrophic mission in
which most of her crewmates from the starship Yangtze perished.  In
the aftermath of this tragedy she apparently tried to commit suicide. 
Now she will do anything to get into space again on the Yangtze's
sister ship, Aral Sea.  Jodenny is clearly damaged and running away
from personal demons.  Although she is a most interesting character,
she is also hard to like.  She has -- understandably -- walled up her
emotions to protect herself; other characters just bounce off the
ramparts she has built around herself. Sandra has set herself a
difficult challenge here and it is hard to judge on the basis of just
two chapters how well she has met it.  Consider the novel's opening
paragraph, which I really like: "If Jodenny Scott spent one more day
on the planet Kookaburra she might try to kill herself again. Not
funny, she thought, and not true, but the morbid humor helped until
she saw Matt Lu exit the Assignments building."

More of this morbid humor would serve to lighten the weight of grief
which Jodenny must drag through the plot.  Alas, it is in scarce
supply.  I expect that this will change as the novel unfolds, and we
will ultimately cheer as Jodenny reclaims her best self,  but it is
always a concern when at the end of the second chapter the reader has
yet to clasp the protagonist fully to his heart.  Sandra has helped
divert us from Jodenny's myriad problems by briefly introducing
another viewpoint character as a foil, crewman Terry Myell, who even
as Jodenny is desperately finagling her way onto the Aral Sea, is
considering jumping the very same ship. The more of him the better,
say I.

But these are quibbles.  ALCHERINGA is already a compelling read and I
think it needs but one more light pass through the word processor
before it ventures out into the marketplace.  Best of luck, Sandra!

--James Patrick Kelly
Author of STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER and THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
http://www.jimkelly.net


Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"Chainsaw on Hand" by Deb Coates

"Chainsaw on Hand" is a beautiful and lyrical piece about a South
Dakota woman and her ex-husband who sees angels, or maybe fairies, or
just very handsome trolls.  One of the things I liked best about this
piece was the way it worked with the landscape of South Dakota,
effectively treating the winter landscape of the plains as a foreign
or fantasy territory.  There's a certain kind of magic that comes from
taking a prosaic everyday environment and describing it as though it
were an alien world, and this story is suffused with that magic.  The
opening paragraphs are particularly evocative with their description
of the dry winter wind and the knowledge that, even in the modern age,
living out on the plains like that means living within arm's reach of
disaster.

The use of the second-person narrative voice is one of those things
that writing instructors almost universally recommend against, and
with good reason; using a second-person narrator in a fiction piece
runs the risk of either inadvertently jarring the reader out of the
story or sounding like a Choose Your Own Adventure book.  This is one
of the rare cases where it works to good effect, putting the reader
deeper inside Chel's thought processes.  It helps that the writing in
this piece is just very strong overall; a good story can get away with
things that would sink a weaker story.

I was particularly impressed with the use of repetition in the
narrative. Echoes that occur near each other, inside a paragraph or in
neighboring paragraphs, give the story a slightly hypnotic and
dreamlike feeling. "In Boston, it gets wet instead of cold.  In
Boston, no one ever puts a sign  in their front yard that says
'Chainsaw on Hand'.  In Boston, life never notices you..."  Other
repetitions that occur at some distance from each other (the mention
of Bobby charming the birds from the trees, the repeated use of
phrases like "In South Dakota in the winter") pull the whole story
along, making it feel more like a unified whole.  It's a very powerful
effect, if used correctly, and it's used just about perfectly in this
piece.

The author mentions in her notes on the story that some audiences will
find it to be not really speculative fiction, and it's easy to see why
she says that: the aliennness of the South Dakota landscape
notwithstanding, the only actual speculative element in this story
comes in the form of the magical creatures who visit Chelley's
ex-husband.  The creatures are described only in vague terms, golden
beings of uncertain origins who have the power to stop time, and they
remain off-stage for the entire story.  It's possible to read this as
a story about a woman whose ex-husband is delusional, but I think the
very vagueness of the creatures makes it more convincingly a spec-fic
story.  If Bobby was just crazy, he'd probably know what his imaginary
creatures were, and they'd be something more concrete than "fairies,
or angels, or whatever."   In a way, then, the lack of specific
identification for Bobby's visitors renders them more believable.

Whether the visitors are real or not, though, is at best secondary to
the story.  This is really a story about Bobby and Chel, their
separation and their reconciliation, and that story is beautifully
drawn.  Part of the appeal of this piece is the way these two
characters are sketched out; the author manages to make a fairly
complete picture of both their lives and their personalities without
ever resorting to inelegant infodumping.

At the same time, the only complaint that I have with this story
relates to Bobby and Chel's relationship.  It's clear that they have a
fairly rich history together, and that Chel's decision to leave Bobby
lies somewhere in the not-too-recent past.  They don't read like
people who are recently separated, but rather like people who have
become accustomed to living apart, people who've had a good bit of
time to adjust to the separation.  If that's the case, then why has
Bobby just decided now to give up his golden visitors?  There's
something really powerful about Chel's reaction to Bobby's choice, but
Bobby's choice still seems to come a little out of nowhere.  Why now? 
Why this day?  What's changed?

As complaints go, that's a fairly minor one.  Overall I thought this
was a very well-written story, and a delight to read.

--Susan Marie Groppi
Fiction Editor/Editor-in-Chief, _Strange Horizons_
http://www.strangehorizons.com


Editor's Choice, Horror:
PRIDE OR FAITH by Fred Baurs

While this is a very solid start, there are still problems with this
piece; but there is nothing that a *careful* second pass cannot fix.

One of the piece's greatest strengths is the sure-handedness with
which it unfolds. Baurs knows precisely what he wants to achieve in
this prologue, and the events move forward at a brisk and (for the
most part) steady pace, only faltering when the extraneous information
concerning the father's background is awkwardly inserted about
one-third of the way through.  (The detailed information about her
father's background is unnecessary at this point; all the reader needs
to know is that he was murdered and that she has sworn revenge. The
specifics can wait until later in the novel.)

Oddly enough, the piece's greatest strength is what contributes to its
various weaknesses; yes, Baurs knows precisely what he wants to
achieve here, but the problem is that he often makes his intent far
too obvious to the reader.

Take the last line of the opening paragraph:  "It seemed, well,
sacrilegious to enter this room which hadn't been disturbed for such a
long time."  The insertion of the "well" between "seemed" and
"sacrilegious" borders on editorializing; this is not the character
commenting on the actions she's about to take, this is the writer
making a comment on his character, one that carries over into the next
paragraph:  "So, of course, she did."  In this case, it is the "of
course" that once again smacks of the writer commenting on his
character, and not the character making herself known to us.

"With a cry of delight she pranced into the room with arms
outstretched." Once more, the writer makes his intent too obvious
here; this is a woman is about to do something evil and is reveling in
it, bur rather than let this motivation emerge naturally from what is
said and done, Baurs instead chooses to have her "prance" into this
darkened room, and the result, far from being chilling or even
off-putting, comes across as unintentionally funny.

He also has a tendency to break single thoughts up into several short
sentences, thoughts that would better serve the story if they were
somehow connected.  For instance:  "Faster and faster she moved. Her
limbs a blur in her unnatural dance."  Baurs's intent at the beginning
of this sequence is to cast the same spell over the reader as his
vampire has cast over her victim, but by breaking this thought and
action into 2 sentences, the result is jarring.  We're given two
quick, staccato lines where the story (and the character) would be
better served by having these thoughts flow together with the same
hypnotic grace she herself is said to possess:  "Faster and fast she
moved, her limbs a blur in her unnatural dance."  Note that once again
Baurs-the-writer is the one commenting here; "unnatural" is meant to
clue the reader in that this woman is more than she appears, but
instead of quietly teasing the reader's interest (which is, I think,
what he's trying to do at this early stage), this particular word
lacks any subtlety -- it in fact, seems far too heavy-handed, and
telegraphs this prologue's supposed "surprise."

Baurs needs to go through this prologue with an eye toward removing as
many unsubtle words and phrases as he can; he needs to make his
vampire the focus, rather than frequently commenting on her as the
writer.

He also has a tendency to repeat himself, the most glaring example
being at the end of paragraph 5:  "Her eyes held a passion that set
fire to her liquid green eyes, setting them aflame with an emerald
fire."  The word "fire" (including the variation "aflame") is used 3
times, each instance serving only to lessen -- rather than enhance --
the effect he is striving for.  Once again, this is a case of a writer
making too-specific an intent known to the reader.

The erotic elements, however, are deftly handled; it would have been
easy (and arguably justified) for Baurs to have gone over the top in
his depiction of the seduction -- in fact, I was expecting him to get
much more bloody and sexually explicit than he did, and was pleasantly
surprised that he chose to pull back here; the seduction is by far the
single most effective sequence in this prologue; if everything
surrounding it were to be revised with an eye toward making the
overall tone as precise and adept as the seduction (overall), this
could potentially be a grabber.

I say "overall" above because the effective spell cast by the
seduction sequence is broken every time the vampire opens her mouth to
speak; she talks in B-horror movie cliches:  "Come here, my pet," "Is
this for me?," "Time to show this boy how to be a man," etc.   This
kind of dialogue is, at best, self-conscious; the piece would be
better served if she did not speak at all until casting the slavery
spell.

And the revelation of her true nature -- that of a vampire -- comes as
no surprise at all, despite the care with which Baurs has structured
this prologue; any reader or editor with even a passing familiarity
with vampire fiction is going to have tagged her as one before
reaching the 1/3 point. Why not surprise expectations and introduce
her as a vampire immediately? Then the reader would know both
fascination and dread; fascination with her and her motives, dread for
her unsuspecting victim.

The macro-writing here is solid; it moves very well, Baurs knows
precisely what he wants to accomplish and how he wants to accomplish
it; it's with the micro-writing that the writer's intent becomes far
too obvious (at times outright editorializing) and weakens the piece
from within.

If this is revised with an eye toward making the piece as a whole as
deft and effective as the seduction sequence, Baurs will have a
compelling and eerie prologue.

--Gary A. Braunbeck
http://www.garybraunbeck.com


| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews.  After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!

If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.

The Honor Roll will show all July nominations beginning August 1.
Here's a highlight from the June honor roll and an advance highlight from
July:

Reviewers: Craig Hickman, Gene Spears, Deb Cawley, Leah Corsaro,
Christine Hall, Ian Tregillis, Leonid Korogodski, Alex van Rossum,
Kyri Freeman, Jennifer Michaels, Roger McCook.
Submission: Taken by the Sea by Nicolie Byrne
Submitted by: Greg Byrne
Nominator's Comments: Thanks to all those who stopped past and
encouraged a 13-year-old (soon to be 14) girl with her writing. She
was VERY excited to get all these comments from Grown-up Writers Who
Know What They Are Doing, and she took all your comments to heart,
although she didn't understand some of them (*g*). Her English
teacher, when shown all these reviews, was suitably impressed as well,
and her dad just sat there grinning. Bless you all!

Reviewer: Melinda Goodin
Submission: Lennon's Line--Part Two, Chapter Eight (C4C)  by Sandra Ulbrich 
Submitted by: Sandra Ulbrich
Nominator's Comments: Melinda offered me a suggestion that will solve
a problem she and several other reviewers noticed with a certain scene
in this chapter. Her words also inspired me to come up another,
clearer approach to introducing some vital information in this
chapter. These suggestions epitomize constructive criticism, IMO: they
work with the author's intent to make the story stronger. Thanks,
Melinda!

Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during June include:   Treize
Armistidian, James Baron, Mads Birkvig, Neal Blaikie, Travis Blair,
Aaron Brown (2), Deb Cawley, Catherine Cheek, Leah Corsaro, Bruce
Davis, William Freedman, Kyri Freeman, Michael Goodwind (2), Bonnie
Johnston, Christine Hall, Craig Hickman, Martha Knox (2), Leonid
Korogodski (2), Gregg Lipschik (2), Heather Marshall (2), Roger
McCook, Jennifer Michaels, Lawrence Payne, Alicia Ponder, Pete
Rauschal, Mark Reeder (2), David St Germain, Gene Spears (3), Tracey
Stewart, PJ Thompson, Ian Tregillis, John Tremlett, Sandra Ulbrich,
Tony Valiulis, Alex van Rossum.

We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in June can be still found until August 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml


| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.

Sales and Publications:

Audra Bruno is happy to report that her first novel, FOREVER CROSSED
by A. Leigh Jones, (workshopped as LEOPARDS IN LOVE) is now available
Amazon and wherever books are sold! She says, "I don't think I
could've written this book without the workshop. Special thanks to
Kirsten, Dan, Jaime, Jo, Jeff and Teresa, who kept on reading, and
reading, and reading, even when the reading was really rough! Thanks
also to Hannah, who encouraged me right at the very beginning, and to
Charlie, who helped me understand the ins and outs of ImaJinn's
contract, and what all that legalese means for a just-starting-out
writer like me."

Wendy Delmater sold two poems to _Scifaikuest_
(http://www.samsdotpublishing.com/scifaikuest/contents.htm), one poem
in their August online zine and another in their August print
magazine. Scrybe Press also wants to publish her story "Where the
Rubber Meets the Road" as a stand-alone chapbook with an e-book
version. She tells us that it was "workshopped on OWW and was a focus
story. Thanks for everyone's input on this story!"

Rhonda Eudaly sold her one and only vampire short story, "After School
Special," to the Mundania Press anthology BEYOND THE MUNDANE: VAMPIRES
AND WAREWOLVES AND MONSTERS, OH MY! It's due out Summer 2005.

S. Evans has two woohoos this month (down from four last month): "Dog
Dreams" earned an Honorable Mention in the ChiZine Story Contest and
"Indra's Rice" will be included in the BEST OF STRANGE HORIZONS 2003
anthology.

Anna Kashina's novella "Mistress of the Solstice" has yet to find a
home in English language publications, but the German translation will
be appearing in the anthology DRACHENNACHTE (Dragon Nights), published
by Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, alongside other authors like Marian
Zimmer Bradley. She tells us: "The novella has been extensively
workshopped in several versions. I couldn't have done it without my
OWW reviewers!"

Ruth Nestvold sold "Dragon Time" to FANTASTIC COMPANIONS, a YA
anthology edited by Julie Czerneda. Ruth sends her thanks to "all the
wonderful OWWers who made it possible for me to sell it the first time
out: Tempest, Bear, Larry West, Katherine Miller, Scott Clements,
Melissa Alsgaard, Nora Fleischer, Linda Dicmanis, William Freedman,
Phillip Spencer and Jeremy Tolbert."

Keith Robinson's story "Contagion" appeared in the July issue of _Deep
Magic_ (http://www.deep-magic.net). Keith tells us that it "underwent
a lot of revision through the OWW some time ago. Thanks to all those
who critted this story." It's his first published story!


| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Number of members as of 7/20:  681 paying, 87 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 582
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews:  74.6%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews:  5.0%

Average reviews per submission (all submissions):  4.95
Estimated average review word count (all submissions):  574.5

Number of submissions in June: 423
Number of reviews in June: 1921
Ratio of reviews/submissions in June:  4.54
Estimated average word count per review in June: 587.2

Number of submissions in July to date: 258
Number of reviews in July to date: 1133
Ratio of reviews/submissions in July to date: 4.39
Estimated average word count per review in July to date: 637.4

Total number of under-reviewed submissions:  48 (8.2% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 4
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 10
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 34


| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Jeremy Yoder (http://http://www.jeremyyoder.net) offered this tip to
the mailing list:

I just had a real life story accepted for a book called "Christian
Miracles." Almost didn't mention it since it's non-fiction,
non-specfic, non-paying, and by a small publisher, but for only one
evening's worth of work, I'll take it.

A word to those wanting to publish, who never have: Keep an eye out
for prolonged antho deadlines (where the editor is practically begging
for submissions), or for ones that aren't well known, even if it's for
genres you don't normally write in. I'll be painfully honest and say
this is the second antho I've tried this way, and I've been accepted
in both -- and both were for genres I had never written in before.

Not that you should become an antho junkie.  But it makes you realize
this writing thing isn't as impossible as it seems. And who knows
what'll happen -- the first non-specfic antho turned out to be great
since it opened some doors for me locally.

--

Got a helpful tip for your fellow members?  A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission?  Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter.  Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.

Until next month -- just write!

The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com


| - - Copyright 2004 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |

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