Below is our current monthly newsletter. To subscribe, go to our newsletter/lists area or directly
to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/oww-sff-news-only.
O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, October 2004
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!
| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
- Workshop News:
OWW Resident Editor joins faculty at Southern Maine
OWW members interviewed at Worldcon
OWW gallery pages
OWWers get-together in the UK
Workshop focus chats still on hiatus
November writing challenge
Market/Contest news: _Albedo One_
Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for June submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback
| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Horrors! It's the month of Halloween and we have no horror submission
review in this issue. We'll make it up to you in November, when
Jeanne Cavelos returns to review a submission from the combined months
of September and October, so don't take down those horror chapters
yet.
OWW RESIDENT EDITOR JOINS FACULTY AT SOUTHERN MAINE
James Patrick Kelly, OWW Resident Editor and Clarion Instructor, has
been asked to join the faculty of the Stonecoast low-residency MFA
program at the University of Southern Maine
(http://www.usm.maine.edu/stonecoastmfa). Because he'll be receiving
monthly packets of fiction for critique from up to five MFA
candidates, he'll no longer be able to continue his participation with
us. He starts in January, so we have the benefit of his experience
and wisdom for a few more months -- be sure to check out what he has
to say about final chapters in this month's review.
We're already searching for his replacement. In the meantime, we want
to extend the thanks of all the workshop members to Jim for his
insightful and instructive critiques -- thanks, Jim. And good luck!
OWW MEMBERS INTERVIEWED AT WORLDCON
http://www.sequentialtart.com/cv_1004_5.shtml
OWW GALLERY PAGES
Ever wonder what your fellow workshop members look like? You can page
through the member directory...or see them gathered in the Gallery
Pages at James Stevens-Arce's web site:
http://stevens-arce.com/Ark.html
OWWERS GET TOGETHER IN THE UK
Joe Berry is trying to organize a get-together for any UK-based OWWers
(or others visiting the UK). He's set up a Yahoo group to discuss
times and places. If you're interested, drop him an e-mail at
joe(dot)berry(at)gmail.com and he'll add you to the list.
WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS STILL ON HIATUS
Pen Hardy sent out this note: "We have no further focus chats
scheduled at this time, and so will begin a hiatus and see what comes
up. Thanks for everyone's help and interest in the focus chats over
the last year and a half." Anyone who wants to revive them again is
welcome to take charge.
NOVEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE
This came in to the mailing list from Jodi (*yawn*) Meadows: "After
waking up from several strange dreams last night, it's clear to me
that my subconscious is telling me to have the next challenge be...
Dreams. Remember: monthly challenges are supposed to be fun, but
don't forget to stretch yourself. If you normally write fantasy, try
SF. If you've never tried space opera, here's your chance. It
doesn't have to be great. It's all about trying new things. Please
don't post your challenge pieces to the workshop until November first.
Include 'November Challenge' in your title so you can show off how
fancy you are to all your friends."
MARKET/CONTEST NEWS: ALBEDO ONE
Workshop member Frank Ludlow sent us this notice: "I'm an editor of
the Irish SF magazine _Albedo One_ We've had the pleasure of
publishing one workshopped story so far, by Cathy Freeze. _Albedo_ has
launched a new speculative-fiction short-story contest called the Aeon
Award. We're considering submissions of original horror, fantasy, and
science fiction. The winner will be chosen by well-known SF author Ian
Watson, and will be announced at Worldcon 2005, where, by the way, it
would be great to meet any of you guys! The prize is 1000 euro and
publication in Albedo One." Full details are at
http://www.albedo1.com
MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION
How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi
(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a
fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks
and some post offices). If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).
Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not. We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member. Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.
Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them. So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip
for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!
For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml
| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.
Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, James Patrick Kelly, and Kelly Link,
and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni
Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their
editorial reviews are archived on the workshop. Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices."
Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!
Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
GODLESS, Chapter 1 by Jon Paradise
Chapter 1 of Jon Paradise's novel, GODLESS, introduces us to a
character able to track monstrous creatures with a radar-like ability.
Because his ability was revealed as a child, he has been used like a
hunting dog to find and kill the abominations living around the city
of Poricy. Paradise's main character, Pel, is viewed as kin to these
creatures by the monotheist priests who are his masters. The priests'
devotion and almost fanatical belief in their One God's authority is
supported by their ability to channel supernatural power. The chapter
opens with Pel leading his master towards one of the mutations and
ends with an attack on their prey.
What I like about this as an opening chapter is the immediacy of the
situation. Pel and the priest are in the Blight--a swamp near the
trade city that has spread--hunting monsters. The obvious animosity
between them seems to be from the point of view of Pel, and he reveals
much about the prejudices of the Falyai for him. Through other actions
and dialogue, the priest wields power over Pel and compels him to his
duty. The physical world is dark and dull, the mud black, the reeds
gray, the darkness beneath the glossy stone absolute. I would like to
seem more of these details--what does the mud smell like? Is the air
cold? Are these colors prevalent or just in this marsh?
I liked the details shown about the priest, his flab and high pitched
voice. "Unbeliever, the priest's reedy tone added unsaid. Ghetto
garbage. Vile creature." This is good detail for describing the
priest's character, but if the words are unspoken, how would Pel know
what the man was saying? At first, I thought Pel was telepathic, but
there was nothing to lead me to that idea, so then it seemed as if
this (and later name calling) were from Pel's point of view. I wanted
to see more of Pel's feelings and reactions to the priest. Had Pel
been called these names before by this priest and/or other priests?
Was this perception just inferred by the clergy's general attitude
towards non-believers? Narrow the focus so I'm convinced this is not
just Pel's perception (and if this is an unreliable view of a more
benign cleric, let the reader in on this characterization). There's no
need for words like "unsaid" and "unspoken" (used later). Using
italics to show or imply thought is just fine.
I'm not comfortable with the supernatural power this Falyai priest
exhibits. It takes no discernable effort to produce a goblet of water
out of thin air or to blast a stone door to pebble-sized bits. We're
told that the priests have even destroyed a man in the same way they
can blast a door. This power seems so effortless and without
ramification, I wonder why they need Pel at all? And then later, the
priest is killed by a monster--why not simply blast it to bits? For a
"magic" or power to feel real and a part of the world, there should be
a check and balance. If the power is as great as is introduced here,
what balances it? Right now, this ultra-power is just too much to be
believable.
The Tormented One, "foul kinsman" (as the priest called it) to Pel,
damned. Using different names for the monsters/mutations could be a
way to help the reader see a difference between Pel's people
(ethnicity, race?) and the Falyai. Pel is an unbeliever and Tenly, the
teenager who follows him into the swamp, is a believer. They're
friendly, so it appears not to be a townspeople prejudice, but
something belonging only to the Falyai. I'm hoping more details will
be revealed as the novel goes on, but setting the tone here will
greatly help the reader feel totally immersed in Pel's pov and his
world.
I liked the unsubtle ending to this chapter. But it should end with
"Brother". The "And then, impact", especially after the unnecessary
scene break, just deflates the drama. By leaving the first chapter in
the midst of action (Pel is about to strike the creature he and the
priest have found), the reader is bound to "turn the page". It's a bit
of a "cliffhanger", but I don't mind it because here, it feels like a
natural progression. There's an implication that "something", a
pivotal moment, has occurred and will launch the plot further into the
next situation. I read it as the impetus for furthering the plot--is
this creature Pel's brother or is Pel doomed to become like that
monster? And what will happen if Pel kills it?
Overall, I think the first chapter of GODLESS is on its way. The
characters interact with each other in a satisfying way; I'd like to
feel more emotion from Pel or a reason for its absence, and with a few
judicious insertions, we'll be able to grasp the nuances of the
cultural or racial differences between Pel, the townspeople, and the
Falyai priests. Be careful of the power structure--"insta-magic" just
doesn't feel believable without explanation to support it within the
constraints of the created world. Just keep an eye out for the logical
inconsistencies of your "magic" system and it will feel more tangible.
--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books
Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter: ORIGINS Chapter 42 by Gregg Lipschik
What ought a reader to expect at the end of a novel? Resolution, no?
The plot must pay off, leaving the protagonist at an appropriate
emotional end state.
But "paying off" is such a slippery notion. For example, not all the
narrative threads need be neatly gathered into a tight bunch. In
fact, many writers prefer to leave a few key plot points loose, thus
giving the impression that the fictive world goes on after the last
paragraph. After all, none of us know the "ending" of our own
stories. And what emotions are appropriate as a plot concludes?
Imagine a narrative in which the protagonist "wins" -- let's say she
becomes the queen of Known Space. Most often she will be happy or
proud or at the very least determined to rule wisely. Her emotional
end state will be upbeat. But it might well be more interesting that
her ascension depress her; she might rue the loss of her former simple
life or else bear a heavy burden of grief over the horrific toll it
took in blood and treasure to obtain power. Although there are no
absolute literary laws which dictate the specifics of resolution, a
reader has the right to expect a dollop of it, lest he hurl the book
against the wall, shouting "I read three hundred and forty-seven
@$#%*&@&#! pages for this?"
Greg Lipschik's penultimate chapter (actually, not quite, since there
is an epilogue after Chapter 43, but close enough) appears to offer an
oblique resolution to some major plot points. While I must confess
that I haven't been following along through the previous 41 chapters,
I believe I can see enough of the shape of his book here to approve of
the subtlety of his resolution of plot while asking for more emotional
resonance from his main character, Joe Litton.
Joe is a scientist whose research has been sabotaged and whose
reputation smeared. At the beginning of the chapter he has been
called before an investigating committee at his university. The Dean
lays out the seriousness of Joe's plight:
"We have heard testimony suggesting that there is no possible adequate
explanation for what amounts to academic dishonesty on your part. The
board is considering both your censure and..." he coughed, then
cleared his throat, "and your dismissal. Before we take a final vote,
we have asked you in to defend yourself, and to provide any evidence
mitigating your behavior."
What makes this climactic confrontation wonderfully riveting is that
Dr. Diane Medina, Joe's antagonist, the source of all the lies, is on
the committee. While the language is appropriately decorous -- this
is, after all, the academy -- the stakes are high for both Joe and
Medina. What I particularly like about the way Greg has set up this
chapter is that, while Joe can make a circumstantial case against
Medina, he can't "prove" anything. As the chapter unfolds, this
becomes clear. Thus he must threaten Medina with public scandal by
threatening to take his story to the press. A clumsier plot would
have armed Joe with a damning fingerprint or a tape from some
security camera or maybe just a purloined manila folder from Medina's
office labeled "How I Did It." Instead Greg limns a more morally
ambiguous -- and realistic, in my view -- resolution. Bravo!
But... but ....
As much as I like Greg's plotting, I felt let down by Joe's emotional
journey through this chapter of high drama. As I read it, Joe is not
at all sure that his strategy will work. This needs to be much
clearer on the page. And when his strategy does work, Medina folds far
too easily:
"Your accusations are preposterous and slanderous," she said, "and I
won't dignify them with any comment." She turned her back to the
table, then walked past Joe and Kriegsburg, her footsteps swishing
against the deep pile carpeting. Reaching the heavily carved wooden
doors of the board room, she spun back toward the group, eyes glaring,
and opened her mouth as if to speak, but didn't. Instead, she turned,
leaned against one of the doors with an audible grunt, and walked out.
This just won't do! The whole scene needs to grow, both in length and
emotional intensity. At the very least, Medina needs to make Joe and
the committee (and the reader!) sweat a little before she caves. I'm
thinking she should have planned for possibility that her integrity
would be called into question and have some slash and burn defense of
her own.
Moreover, we don't really learn how weak Joe's evidence is until after
Dr. Medina stalks out. This revelation comes after the meeting
breaks up and is told largely in summary during a talking heads scene
between Joe and the Dean. How much juicier if Dr. Medina were trying
to bluster her way past Joe's implications and innuendos! A surefire
indicator of missing emotions in the text is Greg's frequent recourse
to physical descriptions of anxiety. "Kriegsburg's eyes were wide, his
brows arched." "Medina sat tall and straight, her gray-streaked black
hair perfectly arranged, but a too-pink flush in her cheeks belied her
apparent composure." "Joe tried to keep his own voice even." "Medina
didn't speak, but her brow arched." "Medina raised flashing dark eyes
toward Joe." "Joe stared back. His fists were clenched, and his heart
pounded." And that's just from the first two pages. Granted, I don't
want Greg to have Medina launch herself over the table and try to
throttle Joe, but what I do want is for the two of them to speak
bluntly, to have it out in a way that puts both characters and reader
through an emotional catharsis. Here the feelings are just a tad too
buried to satisfy.
Nevertheless, Greg certainly has the deployed the makings of a
crackerjack resolution here. Make it happen!
--James Patrick Kelly
Author of STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER and THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
http://www.jimkelly.net
Editor's Choice, Short Story: "The House that Dirk Built" by Regina Patton
This story has a great opening hook:
"What do you think that is?" said Dirk pointing to the front of the
Old Portland that towered above them.
"It looks like a werewolf has been climbing in the upstairs window."
said Nancy Fisk. She found honesty was rarely useful but it could
sometimes be entertaining.
Dirk gave a snorting laugh and said, "No, really. What do you think
made those marks?"
One character is asking another a question, and we're given reason to
doubt the second character's answer, so this raises questions that
will make us, as readers, keep reading until we're drawn deeper and
deeper into the story. It's an effective opening, and the author makes
deft use of a callback, ending the scene by repeating a variation of
the line on honesty being rarely useful, only in a way that informs
our understanding and makes us want to read on.
I like the characterization. Dirk is a minor character, but through
his dialogue and actions, like coming back to the house after dark to
check on the report of an intruder, he comes through clearly drawn and
individual. There are plenty of places to fall into cliche in a
werewolf story also, but this one finds ways to make it fresh, as in
this transformation scene:
She got to see him transform then, from a huge hulking wolf to a still
very large man she'd met several times before. It wasn't like the
movies, with contortions and the impossible stretching of one species
into another because man could never actually become a wolf, but he
could put on its body of transformation like a cloak around his own.
He could don the etheric shell of a wolf, adding its animal
characteristics and powers to the human capabilities of a
shapeshifter.
The wolf form dimmed, becoming slowly transparent and then disappeared
as the man form came through more and more clearly.
Yes, there are some technical bumps in this submission -- dialogue
followed by a "said" tag should end with a comma inside the quotation
marks, not a period -- but they're minor, and, more importantly, the
storytelling throughout is smooth and effective. For example, the
author also makes smart use of the silver Japanese hair pin,
introduced in the first scene as a telling detail about the
character's taste and reintroduced as a possible weapon during the
confrontation between Nancy and the werewolf. Skillful authors must
learn to make use of details that serve two purposes, developing
character or setting in their first appearance and moving the plot
forward on reappearance. And the confrontation between Nancy and
Dirk, and the other contractors, is tense and convincing. That type
of scene, where two likeable characters are both trying to do what
they think is the right thing, but at odds with each other, makes for
good drama. Of all the submissions I looked at this month, this was
the only one that held my full attention to the end of the story.
But in the end the story is unsatisfying, and disappoints. Why?
We discover that there is nothing really at stake for either of these
characters. Nancy has met the werewolf before, knows his secret, and
is in no real danger of either killing him or being killed by him.
The werewolf controls himself -- he neither attacks Dirk when he
visits the house by himself, or Nancy when she comes for the contract,
and, furthermore, seems to be able to change back into human form at
will. Also, the author makes it clear he has nothing to hide about his
condition when he decides to leave the marks on the outside of the
house. All the tension and threat that have been holding our
attention throughout the story are proved misleading by the
conclusion. The deal is closed, the house is sold, and no one has
sacrificed or lost anything to get it.
Good storytelling and effective technique cannot hide the fact that
there isn't really a story here: for this to be a story, there has to
be something important at stake to someone, and somebody has to pay a
price, physically or spiritually, to get it.
I think there are two ways to go with this story in revisions. First,
it can be tightened considerably, into a short-short of maybe 750
words, where the surprise is the payoff and we don't really expect
major stakes for the characters. But my inclination would be to go
the other direction. I would ask the author to think about these
things:
How would Nancy react if her client *had* killed Dirk during a late
night visit? Would she still be so quick to make the deal? What if
she has some desperate need, financial trouble or a child in the
hospital, that creates a need for her to close the deal no matter
what? How does she react then? Can she sacrifice justice for a friend
in order to meet her own needs?
Or what if the werewolf can't control himself and must keep his
condition secret at all costs? What if he's made the deal with Nancy
and tried to keep his condition from her? Or has to make sure she
tells no one after the deal is closed, but by that time he's grown to
like her as a person?
Perhaps neither Nancy nor the werewolf are the main character here.
Sometimes our subconscious will point the way for us when we write.
Dirk is a minor character here and is not effected, nor does he
affect, the outcome of the story at all. Yet his name is in the
story's title. Why? The title should point us to the meaning of the
work in some way. What does Dirk have at stake? How does he feel
about abandoning Nancy to the werewolf? What is he thinking after he
leaves her in that room?
It's up to the author to decide which way to go, but the events have
to matter to someone in the story for them to matter to the reader.
Find out which one of your characters here has the most at stake, in
terms of need or secrets or sense of self-worth, and bring that to the
forefront in order to develop this into a story worthy of the writing.
I hope these comments help! Please feel free to take anything you
find useful in them and ignore the rest. Good luck with it.
--Charles Coleman Finlay
Author of THE PRODIGAL TROLL and WILD THINGS, forthcoming in 2005
http://home.earthlink.net/~ccfinlay/
| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!
If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.
The Honor Roll will show all October nominations beginning November 1.
Here are two advance highlights from this month:
Reviewer: A. Creg Peters
Submission: Talent by Ivy Reisner
Submitted by: Ivy Reisner
Nominator's Comments: He saw straight through what I was trying to do
with the story and led me right into where I was going wrong. This
review was exactly, perfectly, what I needed. :)
Reviewer: Ruth Williams
Submission: LIVING IMPAIRED Chapter two and three by Catherine Cheek
Submitted by: Catherine Cheek
Nominator's Comments: The critiques I really hope for are the ones
that make me go---Oh! so THAT'S what I need to do to change this.
Ruth gave me a couple of those. She pointed out the things that a
'first time reader' wouldn't know about the world, and about my
characters, which is especially helpful because it's hard to be
objective after so many rewrites.
Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during September include:
A.P. Agill (2), Deb Atwood, Aaron Brown (2), Marlissa Campbell,
Catherine Cheek, N Chenier, Mike Farrell, Todd Field, Lisha Fu,
Stephan Gordon, Robert Haynes (3), Matt Horgan, elizabeth hull, Martha
Knox, Pat Lundrigan, chris manucy (2), Jodi Meadows, Holly McDowell,
Brian Otridge, Lawrence Payne (2), Michael Redden, Daniel Sackinger, M
Thomas, Ian Tregillis, John Trey, Jeff Weitzel, jim whited, Walter
Williams.
We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in September can be still found until November 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml
| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.
Aleta Daknis and the staff of _Abyss & Apex_
(http://www.abyssandapex.com) wanted us to announce that issue #11 is
currently online. It contains work by a couple of OWWers as well as
some other fine writers.
Sales and Publications:
Elizabeth Bear had never sold to the same market twice... until this
month, when she broke the jinx twice! First she sold her story
"One-Eyed Jack and the Suicide King" to _Lenox Avenue_. She told us:
"I'd like to thank John Borneman, Kathryn Allen, Jaime Voss, Kyri
Freeman, Chris Coen, Leah Bobet, Hannah Bowen, Kenneth Woods, Sarah
Prineas, Rebecca Sims, and Chelsea Polk (and anyone I may have
forgotten). The story was inspired by living in Las Vegas and the
exceedingly weird Masonic markings on the promenade on Hoover Dam, and
the weird way this city has of eating its young. I liked the
characters so much that I'm currently writing a novel about them." She
also sold her Lovecraftian category romance "The Follow Me Light" to
SCI FICTION. She send her thanks to "Kat Allen, Amanda Oestman, Jodi
Meadows, Jaime Voss, and quite possibly somebody I've stupidly
forgotten, because I can't find my list for this one."
John Borneman's poem "Gargoyle" may be found in the latest issue of
_Abyss & Apex_ (http://www.abyssandapex.com).
Cecilia Dart-Thornton is the winner in the annual 'Affaire De Coeur'
Reader/Writer Poll, in the category of Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy, for her
novel THE BATTLE OF EVERNIGHT, volume 3 in THE BITTERBYNDE, which was
once an Editor's Choice winner here on the workshop. "At least I think
I am the winner," she writes. "Maybe I'm just a finalist, it's hard to
tell... they sent me a letter saying I was the winner." Details at:
http://www.affairedecoeur.com/
Linda Dicmanis reported to the mailing list that she went to the book
launch of HORSE DREAMS in Melbourne. The anthology contains her work.
She notes that book signing gets difficult after ten or so because
one runs out of things to write!
Mark Fewell received an e-mail from WRITERS OF THE FUTURE that said
"Your entry placed in the quarter-finals for the 3rd quarter 2004
(April 1 - June 30, 2004)." He told the mailing list: "This is the
second quarter in a row that one of my stories has made it through the
first round into the quarter-finals. Still haven't won though. The
stories, 'Gone To Happy Valley' and 'Bernice And The Talking Oak
Tree,' were both workshopped stories."
Wade Markham III sold another lyric to the band Retroheads. This one
is called "Fly Away Butterfly" about an abused woman who needs to heal
before starting another relationship. Wade met the band deejaying for
a progressive rock station on the net
(http://www.progressivesoundscapes.com).
Maura McHugh's flash piece "Who Hears Our Cries in Forgotten Tongues?"
has been accepted by _Flash Me_. "Before I'm asked, it was inspired
initially by Elizabeth Hull's plaintive cry to this mailing list in
August that she'd love an elf story for the magazine. Thanks to the
reviewers who gave me useful insights on the first version: Peter
Sprenkle, Calvin Bates, and Kevin Miller. I subsequently reshaped the
piece, and got input on the penultimate draft from Brandon Bell, Susan
Elizabeth Curnow, Jim Whited, Will McIntosh and Rob Campbell."
Nigel Read sold his fantasy spoof "The Dwarf, the Elf and the
Aardvark" to _Full Unit Hook-up_, the zine also known as FUHU. He
told us: "This was a story that was completely rewritten several
times, and received many very useful reviews from the folk at OWW."
Which is exactly how it's supposed to work!
Rebecca A. Willman's story "Moon Lantern" may be found in the latest
issue of _Abyss & Apex_ (http://www.abyssandapex.com).
| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Number of members as of 10/20: 665 paying, 67 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 526
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 75.3%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 3.6%
Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 5.14
Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 637.61
Number of submissions in September: 435
Number of reviews in September: 2016
Ratio of reviews/submissions in September: 4.63
Estimated average word count per review in September: 662.35
Number of submissions in October to date: 236
Number of reviews in October to date: 1108
Ratio of reviews/submissions in October to date: 4.69
Estimated average word count per review in October to date: 729.38
Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 59 (11.3% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 4
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 25
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 30
| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Jodi Meadows sent this to the workshop mailing list:
"I was googling 'first rights' and I found this link:
http://www.writing-world.com/rights/rights.shtml
"It gives a very easy-to-understand idea about rights and what you're
selling when you sell 'first rights,' 'all rights,' and so on. Hope
this helps others as much as it helped me. :)"
And Jenni Smith-Gaynor passed on a link to "a fair resource for
grammar and style guides": http://www.libraryspot.com/grammarstyle.htm
Thanks to both of them!
Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.
Until next month -- just write!
The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
| - - Copyright 2004 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |