O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, December 2004
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!
| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
- Workshop News:
Interview with Elizabeth Bear
XiNK! freeware
January writing challenge
Documentary-makers seek SF writers/readers
Market news
Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for November submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback
| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Happy holidays! The transition from the end of one year to the
beginning of the next is traditionally a time to take stock of the
things we're thankful for and measure progress toward our goals.
Here at OWW, we're proud to welcome back Karin Lowachee, author of
WARCHILD and BURNDIVE, winner of the Warner Aspect First Novel contest
and finalist for numerous other awards, and most recently judge for
the Philip K. Dick Award. Karin, an OWW alum, has agreed to become
OWW's new Resident Editor for Science Fiction. WARCHILD won Editor's
Choice recognition several times while it was being workshopped.
We're glad to have Karin back with OWW in this new capacity and
thankful she has time to share her skills with us!
As for our goals in 2005... some of them are, or should be, your
goals. What do you want to accomplish this year with your writing?
And are there any changes we can make to the workshop to help you
reach them? Let us know... e-mail support@onlinewritingworkshop.com.
INTERVIEW WITH ELIZABETH BEAR
The latest Spectra newsletter includes a feature on OWW author Elizabeth
Bear. To read her "Thoughts on Writing HAMMERED" go to:
http://www.randomhouse.com/bantamdell/spectra/newsletter/
XiNK! FREEWARE
OWW member Chris Murphy wrote to us looking for beta testers for his
new freeware program for writers. This is the description he sent us:
"XiNK! is a project based approach to writing. It's a word processor
that has all the non-essential features (see MS Word and other office
type solutions) stripped out. This leaves the writer free to
concentrate on one thing -- writing. The application is based on the
concept of "structure not format"; the only time a writer should
ideally worry about format is when they are ready to proof or submit
their work. This application has a collection of built-in exporters
(some are still under development) that the writer can use to save
their projects for distribution/submission in the appropriate formats
(title page, footers, headers, etc.)."
Members interested in testing the program should e-mail Chris for more
information: cmurphy@fuelindustries.com
JANUARY WRITING CHALLENGE
Jodi, OWW's Challenge Dictator, Unicorn Warlord, and general menace,
sent the following announcement:
"Cows stare blank-eyed from their field across the way, and horses paw
the packed dirt. The sweet scent of fresh-cut hay dissipates as the
writers enter the henhouse. Summer's (we have people in Oz--we can do
that, right?) heat lessens in the cool shade. The Challenge Dictator
waits for the writers to settle down and stop complaining about the
smell before she bends down and picks up a chicken.
"Our January Challenge is 'Fancy Chickens.'"
Participating in the monthly challenges is an excellent way to stretch
your skills. These pieces are for fun, so don't worry about them -- if
it fails, no one ever needs to know about it. But a lot of these
pieces succeed! Over 30 challenge stories have gone on to
publication. Challenging yourself, truly trying something that scares
you but speaks to you, may pay off in ways you can't expect.
Please don't post your challenge pieces to the workshop until January
1st. Include "January Challenge" in your title so you can show off how
fancy (maybe not like the chickens) you are to all your friends.
For more complete information on the monthly writing challenges,
visit: http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html
DOCUMENTARY-MAKERS SEEK SCIENCE FICTION READERS/WRITERS
The following e-mail came into OWW Support and we agree to pass it on:
"My name is Annette King and I attend Aims Community College in Greeley,
Colorado. I am also the (fortunate or unfortunate -- I'll get back to you on
that) producer and assistant director of a documentary slated to begin
production commencing our next semester in January. Currently the sole
intention of the documentary is to put a nice piece into my crew's and my
own portfolio, get it aired on our college's cable station and to submit
into film festivals like Sundance, Cannes, and the Academy of Motion Picture
and Science's Student Academy Awards.
"This documentary is about science fiction and fantasy. The documentaries
I've uncovered thus far, focus on a particular series, movie or the fans.
None have really touched on how these genres have affected a culture, so
that is what this documentary is focused on exploring. My crew and I seek to
discover how science fiction and fantasy have contributed and impacted
American culture and mythology. We intend on doing this through
interviewing the staff, organizers and audience of Starfest, a local science
fiction and fantasy convention.
"Additionally, I would like to get interviews from people across America on
this subject (and if you're in another country, our focus may be America,
but we are interested in finding out how these genres affect the cultures
and mythology of other countries too. Do not hesitate to participate!).
"If you're interested in helping us, please contact me at
beammeupfrodo-2005@yahoo.com. I'm actually posting for help on several
groups, so please let me know which group you're posting from so I can give
you the right questions for the genre and/or series that you,d like to
interview for. Some, but not all, of the interview questions will be used as
voice-overs in the documentary, and before we use them, you will be sent a
waiver to mail us with your permission. If you would like to send us a
recording of your answers yourself, please let me know in your e-mail and
I'll send you the audio and video specs and address to mail the video or
audio interview.
"Also, if you live in Northern and Eastern Colorado (Morgan and Weld
counties, Denver to Colorado Springs areas, the ski resorts and such) or
live Southern Wyoming, or will be visiting these areas in the next 6 months,
OR attending Starfest 2005, please let me know. We would love to get
together with anyone in the area to do on camera interviews. And if there's
anyone out there that would like to videotape interviews in their area or at
their local convention, please let me know. The more the merrier!
"Quick FAQ: If we use your interview or footage, you will be included in the
credits. No, we cannot pay you; my crew and I are broke college students
trying to dig up enough just to do the documentary. If you're under 18, you
can still participate, but we'll have to have your guardians sign a waiver
too if we use your interview.
"So if this sounds like something you'd like to participate in, I look
forward to hearing from you! Annette King: beammeupfrodo-2005@yahoo.com"
MARKET NEWS
Say... isn't this a great market? The next reading period for
_Say..._ begins January 1. Check this month's "Sales and Publications"
for some OWWers who've sold there recently. The submission guidelines
may be found here:
http://journalscape.com/ChristopherRowe/2004-12-06-18:40
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| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.
Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, Kelly Link, and Karin Lowachee and
experienced SF & F editor Jenni Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of
Editors' Choices and their editorial reviews are archived on the
workshop. Go to the "Read, Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors'
Choices."
Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!
Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
THIS ONCE PROUD LAND, Ch. 2 by Mel Mason
I was so drawn to the mystery unfolding in the second chapter of Mel
Mason's THIS ONCE PROUD LAND that I read the first chapter, too. I
agree with one of the OWW reviewers tat this chapter could have been
combined with the first. The opening bit of dialogue here in the
second chapter is a great hook following the ending of the first, but
a chapter break could suffice for breaking the scenes.
In the midst of many typical epic fantasies that are big sellers and
have huge followings -- and I'm a fan of many -- this smaller story
has great appeal. I very much liked the idea of a young king trying to
right the wrongs of his predecessors. Guided by an advisor, King Maxin
seems intent on putting his kingdom into order. The discovery of a
prisoner in the dungeons, who had been incarcerated for twenty-two
years for a seemingly minor crime, brings to light a riddle. Who is
the prisoner, and why had no one petitioned his freedom?
The information in this second chapter is a nice easy way to introduce
the reader to both the building plot and the intricacies of the world.
So far, the culture is the usual feudal framework we all recognize in
fantasy. The characters seem to have a strong presence, and I look
forward to seeing more of the prisoner.
I would like the see two things clarified. The POV is weak. In the
first chapter, the opening felt as if the story was going to be told
from the POV of Natan, the advisor. The first few sentences of that
chapter were great hooks and showed a solid personality. But as that
chapter went on and this chapter was introduced, that voice drifted
into the background and became muddled with the young king's and the
3rd person POV. Stick closer to either the king's POV or Natan's, and
the story will have more flavor and depth.
The other clarification I'd like here is the sense of conflict. The
mystery of the prisoner's identity is solved at the very beginning of
this chapter. The young king's desire to correct his predecessors'
mistakes is an interesting plot device, but I'd like to get a stronger
sense here of how that action will affect the rest of the story. The
question seems to be about the prisoner's initial reaction and then to
the prisoner's long-term reaction (or his relatives) to being freed.
An audience with the king and Natan could reveal more about the
prisoner and his situation than this focus on the passive conversation
between King Maxin and his advisor. The mystery is still very fresh,
so the information parceled out in the conversation is relevant; I'm
not sure this is the strongest way to show that information to the
reader. Unless the prisoner's relatives have a stronger part to play
in this novel, to focus on their disinterest in releasing their Earl
isn't enough to hold up this chapter.
I'm curious about the fate of the prisoner and what he will do once
he's well enough to return to his ancestral estates. This is an
interesting and accessible story that has a potential to go the
distance. Focus the POV and try moving the focus to the confrontation
with the prisoner for a stronger chapter.
--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books
Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
GRASSES-IN-THE-WIND, Chapters 8 & 9, by by Ian Morrison
Jumping into this novel midway, I still found it very easy to follow and
intriguing enough that I immediately went to Chapter 9 to see what
happened next. The clear rundown before the chapters was helpful; as
synopsis writing is important when submitting novels to publishers,
the seven plot points listed gave enough of an overview of the action
and characters that I was not confused unduly even reading this in the
middle. I wish I had read from the beginning, however, since the
science fiction element was obviously in the first chapter. Yet though
these chapters read like an alternate history, there are sufficient
"weird things" like Lil's Maze visions and her unusual strength to
keep the reader reminded that this is not a straight
history-influenced tale a la Guy Gavriel Kay. In fact this story
reminds me more of Maureen McHugh's work.
The first scene in Chapter 8 I found to be a bit confusing, as Mey was
telling a story about her past, they were sitting in the present in
front of a fireplace, and then Lil was remembering visitors from that
morning. The time frames for everything muddled what was actually
being said and the wonderful images evoked in the telling. Though the
writing is clear and unencumbered, I found my mind jumping around
tracking the threads. I think it can be easily fixed if in the
second-to-last paragraph there is a segue between Mey's telling and
this line: "When the cups had been emptied and talk slowed, an old
man asked about a nephew he hadn't seen in fifty years." Perhaps
just mentioning Lil remembered again. I did like the fact though that
in Lil's remembering she actually missed part of Mey's story -- this
struck me as very real, as when our minds wander we do miss what
people say. Not all narratives (or parts of narratives) need to be
linear (in fact I tend to enjoy narratives that don't follow the same
track of most other books), but in mixing timeframes you have to be
extra careful with segues in order to ground the reader.
One of the things I loved about this submission was the dynamic of the
prose, the use of telling details and specific uncliched language
without overdoing it in order to create an image. Example: "She
started behind the shop, scrubbing back and forth to loosen what
looked like weeks of accumulated filth. Always dirt, she thought,
digging in the dirt my whole life, but she rejoiced in the smooth
rhythm of the work--push, lift, push, lift--until the broom became a
fierce weapon." The characters are all uniquely drawn, though I did
find myself wondering about what more might be going on in Lil's mind
as she's in this weird and sometimes frightening situation. She
doesn't seem overly worried or moved about anything until the end of
Chapter 9 and the appearance of the T'ot Man and Woman (fantastic
characters, with that hint of otherworldiness that tweaks the reader
again that this is not just a straight alternative history). As this
seems to be a tight third person narrative, I'd like to feel more of
the subtleties of Lil's emotions and worries in this unfamiliar world
and situation. The roots are all there, just amp it up a bit more.
Another thing that makes this submission sing is the actual pacing of
the prose. Sentences are varied in length and structure, creating a
rhythm to the words that helps propel the narrative. Too often in less
mature writing the prose tends to follow similar patterns, delivering
details more than creating a mood or a style through actual sentence
structure and imagry. But if a writer pays attention to the "music" of
a sentence, and implements appropriate imagery to evoke the world and
character, you are writing on multiple levels. Example: "During the
night, the empty sky drew heat from the earth so that morning puddles
were ice, and the dirt road down to Jalkala sported a crust of iron
that made a satisfying crunch under Lil's boots. She stole a look at
Mey. The two of them reminded Lil of a photograph she had once seen of
Russian peasant women following the Soviet army on its march to
Leningrad. Bundled in dark wool, heads down, plodding. She hoped it
wasn't an omen."
Overall I find in just these two chapters a well-illustrated world,
believably peopled, that I would definitely keep reading about if this
were a book in my hand.
--Karin Lowachee
Author of BURNDIVE and CAGEBIRD (April 2005)
http://www.karinlowachee.com
Editor's Choices, Short Story:
"Godivy" by Vylar Kaftan
"Better Late Than Never" by Clayton Deschamps
Much like last month, I've chosen two stories which are very different
animals from each other. There were many other excellent stories last
month, including an imaginative alternative history of Tolkien's
England, Bill McKinley's "Return of the Queen," and James Lemacks'
vivid, somewhat surreal "Surgery in Gil." -- K.L.
"Godivy" by Vylar Kaftan
This is a engaging and odd story. Some of the imagery is strikingly
beautiful: the mermaid stripper, covered in ivy, lounging in the back
of a taxi; the liberated photocopiers that grow tails and swim out
the windows of the office. The reader is disarmed by the
Alice-in-Wonderland almost-sensical dialogue, and by the strangeness
of the office world, where administrators fight over the sexual favors
of their photocopiers and raise their children on expresso.
While I wouldn't suggest making this story too much longer, there are
certain parts of it that don't quite have the right weight yet. We
are told that the children of the administrators -- the grayfaces -- are
present in the office, "attached to each other" and bred for "the
horrors of office work," and that the office administrators are in heat,
but we don't see either the grayfaces or any administrators other than
The Director. The office isn't really even sketched in, and it needs
to be.
Some questions and suggestions:
When the mermaid frees the photocopiers, why doesn't she take her
transplanted child, The Director, with her? Whose child is Jared?
"Their fathers raised them suckling on expresso in the nipples.
Nipples are a popular drink at the strip club." Who is breast-feeding
the grayfaces? And you might want to ditch the strip club. You don't
want to introduce more locations that the reader doesn't get a chance
to visit, especially in the first paragraph of the story, where they
have more weight. You should consider beginning the story with the
second paragraph, with Godivy -- with Jared drinking expresso from her
nipples. Work in the details of the first paragraph later, when Jared
gets to the office.
Take a look at the end of the second paragraph. Sentences like "She is
fine for breeding and he likes that about her" don't work very hard.
The sentence above, "She is the mother of his first hundred
duplicates, and only one of them is smudged" is a much stronger, more
striking sentence. Paragraphs should always end on vivid images, or
sentences that advance character or plot.
There's something confusing and hasty about the description of the
potted plant shattering when Jared throws it through the office
window, and the vines that then explode up and capture him. Is Jared
watching out through the window to see what happens? How high up are
they? Keep us firmly in Jared's POV, and show us the strangeness as it
happens. Don't speed up moments which should be beautiful and weird.
Instead, try slowing these moments down, lingering and describing them
vividly.
"'Who - what - are you?' asks Jared, straining against the vines which
entrap him." Why not break up the line of dialogue and the
description, so that they both stand out better, and so that the vines
are more menacing? Since the vines are extremely lively, why not
rework the sentence so that it's the vines who are acting on Jared?
Most of the time that a writer joins an important line of dialogue to
an important action, I'd suggest breaking them apart, so that both
dialogue and action get the appropriate stress.
In a story this short and strange, it's important that the language be
as clear and precise as possible. I can't stress this strongly enough.
Every sentence of a short story, especially one so unconventional, has
to matter. Every sentence has to ring like a bell. Watch out for the
usual kind of thing, like unclear pronoun references and distracting
and unbalanced constructions in sentences like "Two feet poke out from
the leaves like an unearthed corpse."
When Jared hears laughing behind him, is it the Director laughing or
Godivy? When "more photocopiers swim through," what exactly are they
swimming through? Don't let the reader get caught up in small,
unimportant details or constructions which are muddy rather than
transparent and clear.
"The Director is motionless, his twig fingers reaching toward Jared's
photocopier." This sentence makes no sense. And I'm curious, I admit,
how Jared first became aware that the Director had designs on Jared's
photocopier. Do other administrators lust after this same photocopier?
And how does Jared immediately know that Godivy also wants his
photocopier? And does the photocopier look back at Jared when she
swims away through the window, or does she not look back? What did
Godivy mean when she said "It's my turn now."? This seems confusing
rather than mysterious, or intriguing.
I think you may be making a mistake by ending the story with Jared,
instead of with the photocopiers diving down the waterfall of ivy. I'd
build on that image and make it something joyful and vivid. This isn't
really a story about Jared and the office. This is a story about
escape and strangeness.
There seems to be some interesting sociological subtexts here, about
race, gender, even the environment. There's Godivy, who tells Jared
that black mermaids have feet, and that "no one painted us in the
nineteenth century because they said we weren't even people." There's
the image of the black and white chessboard, the liberation of the
sexually subjugated photocopiers. To be honest, I have no idea where
the story is going with these issues, and I'm not sure that the author
does, either. A story this strange and perverse is difficult to
critique, after I've taken a look at line edits. But there's something
here worth pursuing. This story stuck in my brain after I'd finished
reading it.
"Better Late Than Never" by Clayton Deschamps
"Better Late than Never" is a lively, solid traditional SF story in
which competent and problem-solving female and male colonists arrive
at their target planet only to discover that someone else has gotten
there first. I don't have any quibbles with the technical aspects of
the story, and the writing is sturdy, but there's no consistent POV
character, which is a setback. Frankly, there's no reason not to keep
a tight, focused POV.
We need to start a bit smarter: what the reader gets in the first few
pages is mostly sitcom-witty banter instead of character and setting.
I see this a lot when I read slush, where instead of dialogue and
description which tells me who the characters are, and what their
relationships to each other are like, the author supplies arch,
empty-calorie banter. The speech tags are also cliches of too-cute
wryness. Characters take deep breaths, or raise their eyebrows. They
sigh. I worry that writers feel they need to write characters this way
because they know that they are supposed to show (show characters
raising their eyebrows), not tell. Frankly, I'd like to see a bit more
telling. No reader cares if the dialogue is cute and witty if they
don't care about your characters who are speaking that dialogue.
Why not choose either Felix Chambery or Olga as your main character?
Why not tell us something about Felix from Olga's POV, or vice versa?
At the moment, none of the characters -- except for Olga and the Lupin
colonist Ng -- feel the slightest bit rounded. You might consider
combining Felix and Goode: I consistently confused them as I read.
Most writers spend most of their descriptive energies early on in
their stories. But while there's some wonderful description of the
planet Lupin, later on, there's almost no description of the colony
ship for the first twenty pages or so. Instead, we get some brief
throwaway lines like "cramped nagivation room," "low ceiling," and
"lined with pipes and conduits." We don't even find out until much too
late how many people are onboard ship: 155, I think, but much of the
time the crew (passengers?) are referred to as a "crowd." Who is this
crowd? Why are there so many women? How and why did they come together
as colonists? Are there families on board, or only scientists? Who
sent them, and what was their political situation when they left
Earth?
Again, I'd like to see the prose tightened. You can't afford clunky
sentences in a short story. There's some extremely nice writing here,
but there are also sentences like this one: "The volume and the
violence of it made it feel like a terrible crisis, but it just went
on and on." Why not just "The roar went on and on."? The roar is
followed by snapshot parallel sentences of various characters
fidgeting or staring intensely. Again, stick close to one point of
view. Show us Roxanne, through Olga's POV, and you can show us, quite
economically, that both women are anxious. The reader wants telling,
specific, unusual details that ring true. I know that's asking a lot
of a writer, but writers need to train themselves to know when they've
found that telling detail, and learn to do it over and over again.
Take a look at the next paragraph:
"The trance was broken when Roxanne announced, in a conversational
tone, that the streamers were deploying. The ship lurched distinctly
as they unfurled, the first of the series of airbrakes and parachutes
that were intended to keep the ship aligned in the atmosphere, and
control its velocity. The sky of bright stars had the pale, blue tinge
of dawn."
That first sentence is clunky, and terribly passive. This works much
better:
"'Streamers deployed,' Roxanne announced, in a conversational tone.
Olga's trance broke. The ship lurched distinctly as the streamers
unfurled. . .," etc.
The rest of that paragraph works very nicely. The description of the
stars is beautiful. As I said earlier, the writing really comes to
life whenever there's a chance to describe Lupin, and there's
something very appropriate about that. Lupin is what Olga and her crew
have pinned all their hopes on. It's the thing that might get snatched
away from them. The next few paragraphs are lovely, too:
"The stars were still visible through the thin gauze of stratosphere
when the small pilot-chute went out, followed a few minutes later by
the first main parachute. The ship suddenly had a down, what had been
the walls were now floor and ceiling."
"Suddenly, Olga felt far away from the noise and motion. She was
struck by the fact that she was leaving space and space-travel behind,
probably forever, and her fear made way for a nostalgic melancholy.
She looked up at the ceiling, which had been the wall, and in her mind
she said goodbye, although she wasn't sure to what, exactly, she was
saying it."
"Through the window, now transformed into skylights, she saw the main
ring parachutes fill with air; around them was the violet-blue sky of
Lupin."
The writing here is strongly intuitive. First we have a the beautiful
description of the stars and the sky, and then Olga's farewell to her
journey, and then Lupin again. That circular journey is excellent.
What I'd like is to see all of the prose work at this level of
description, character, and voice.
Consider sentence rhythms: when the crew goes outside to wait for the
Lupine settlers, we are told that Olga and 15 other crew members suit
up. "The number was chosen because there were only fifteen firearms
aboard." The problem with that sentence is that it doesn't tell us who
chose the number. That sentence doesn't flow. Instead, breaking it up
gives more punch to the information you want to convey: "The number
had been chosen carefully. There were only fifteen firearms aboard."
Take a look at this paragraph:
"The interior of the ship became increasingly hot. The thermal
stresses made bulkheads suddenly ring like steel drums. The air became
close, and smelled of sweat and ozone. The ship began to shake and
groan in earnest."
Look at how it can be rewritten, to emphasize tension, with short,
direct, clear sentences:
"The interior of the ship became increasingly hot. The bulkheads rang
like steel drums under the thermal stresses. The air was close. The
cabin smelled of sweat and ozone. The ship groaned."
My last complaint has to do with the title, which seems dreadfully
unfunny. A good story deserves a good non-jokey title. On the other
hand, I like the ending of the story a great deal. The problem at hand
has been solved, but the situation on Lupin is nicely complicated. If
you're willing to invest a bit more time in making your characters
come to life, then it seems as if you'll have plenty of new problems
to enmesh them in.
--Kelly Link
Editor of TRAMPOLINE and co-editor of YEAR'S BEST FANTASY & HORROR
http://www.kellylink.net/
Editor's Choice, Horror: no review this month.
| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!
If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor Roll
page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml. Your
nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar month.
The Honor Roll will show all December nominations beginning January
1. Here are two advance highlights from this month:
Reviewer: Heather Marshall
Submission: The Butterflies Smell Like Cigarettes by Holly McDowell
Submitted by: Holly McDowell
Nominator's Comments: Heather showed me the flaws, big and small, of
my chapters and wrote so eloquently about them that I instantly
understood. Her comments covered everything from pacing to logic, to
voice, to character and on and on. She also tempered it with the right
amount of encouragement by telling me what worked for her and how she
interpreted the story. This review put a giant smile on my face
because it showed me exactly how to improve my chapters and inspired
me to keep going with the novel. Thank you so much, Heather!
Reviewer: M Thomas
Submission: I Am Gramelian (Part 2) by Wade White
Submitted by: Amos Peverill
Nominator's Comments: I thought the reviewer did a fantastic job at
looking at the internal consistency of the story. The story was very
well written, and the natural tendency is to overlook these issues
when the writing is smooth. M Thomas is a great reviewer, and I'd be
pleased to have M tear up my chapters any day. :-)
Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during November include:
Gill Ainsworth, Kathryn Allen (3), Treize Aramistedian, Sheridan Baz,
Elizabeth Bear, Aaron Brown, Susan Curnow (2), Linda Dicmanis, Brian
Dunn, Rhonda S. Garcia, Elizabeth Hull, Esme Ibbotson, Vylar Kaftan,
Jeffrey Kuczynski-Brown, Dena Landon, Heather Marshall, Pamela OBrien
(2), Daniel Sackinger (3), Jone Sterling, John Tremlett (2), Sandra
Ulbrich, Alex Van Rossum, Walter Williams.
We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in November can be still found until January 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml
| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.
Nigel Atkinson's short story "The Interstellar Public Health
Inspector" is included in the DEEPER MAGIC anthology recently
published by Amberlin Books, available at Amazon.com in the US
(http://tinyurl.com/4dodb) and UK (http://tinyurl.com/46emj).
We notice chance (a.k.a. Catherine M. Morrison) in the list of authors
for the latest issue of _Say...have you heard this one?_
Hannah Wolf Bowen sold workshop grad "Vision" to _Say...have you heard
this one?_ She informs us that it's a sequel to "Steal a Heart,"
forthcoming from _Alchemy_ and adds a possibly vigorous, though
under-punctuated, "Huzzah."
Marlissa Campbell sold a reprint of "Germ Theory" to _Periodot Books_
(http://www.peridotbooks.com/)! She informs us that "it's scheduled
to appear in Vol. 23, Jan 1, 2005. It was one of the first stories I
ever wrote (before I joined the workshop), and it originally appeared
in the online magazine _HMS Beagle_ in March 2001."
Wendy Delmater's workshopped story "Retaliation" was a semi-finalist
in _Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine_'s "Slsar Twist" contest, a
competition of Hitchcockian-style stories with surprise endings. See
http://www.fmam.biz/contests/twist.html for more.
The indefatigable Mark Fewell has a story, "China's Song," in the
December _Astounding Tales_
(http://www.astoundingtales.com/vol1_iss3/china.html). He informs us
that the story "was workshopped at one time on the horror workshop
before the workshops merged."
Charles Coleman Finlay sold workshop grad "Moons Like Great White
Whales" to _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com).
Jennie Goloby sent us two for the, and we quote, "Woo-hoo Files." She
says that "Story House Coffee just published 'Coo,' the one about the
woman with a pigeon for a father. They're a great market--it's really
fun to get a can of coffee with your story printed on it. And the
coffee's good, too!" She also sold "A Man and His Son" to _Night to
Dawn_ for the October 2005 issue.
We are exceedingly happy to announce that Ed Hoornaert's
science-fiction novel THE TRIAL OF TOMPA LEE, the opening chapters of
which were critiqued on OWW, has been accepted for publication by Five
Star Speculative Fiction. We'll be publishing more news here as we get
it.
Sandra McDonald sold her story "Constituent Work" to _Say...have
you heard this one?_
(http://projectpulp.com/item_detail.asp?bookID=-1039498082).
Ruth Nestvold has sold "Happily Ever Awhile" to _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com). She tells us that "The story was up
on the workshop in October as 'Ever Afters.' I got great suggestions
from Wade White, Elizabeth Bear, Linda Dicmanis, Daniel Sackinger,
Vylar Kaftan, and Kevin Miller, all of which helped me to whip it into
shape."
Sarah Prineas'a story "Liberty Pipe" will appear in _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com). She adds, "My third story sale to SH,
a personal goal!" If that weren't enough, her dark fantasy story "The
Dog Prince" appears in the Winter issue of _Talebones_.
Jaime Lee Voss, who gets top-billing because she e-mailed us with the
news, and John Borneman sold "Minotaur" to _The Magazine of
Speculative Poetry_. The section Jaime wrote is written from the
perspective of Queen Pasiphae and how she pities the Minotaur, and the
section John wrote written from the perspective of King Minos, and how
he envys the Minotaur. Jaime adds "_The Magazine of Speculative Poetry_
was the fourth market we tried."
| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Number of members as of 12/20: 658 paying, 68 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 495
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 68.9%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 2.8%
Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 4.86
Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 646.79
Number of submissions in November: 356
Number of reviews in November: 1504
Ratio of reviews/submissions in November: 4.22
Estimated average word count per review in November: 680.6
Number of submissions in December to date: 206
Number of reviews in December to date: 911
Ratio of reviews/submissions in December to date: 4.42
Estimated average word count per review in December to date: 740.1
Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 90 (18.2% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 6
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 29
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 55
| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.
Until next month -- just write!
The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
| - - Copyright 2004 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |
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