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O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, May 2005
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!

| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

- Workshop News:
       April crit marathon prizes
       Novel sales spreadsheet
       Stop preposition abuse!
       Let the Odyssey begins
       Midwest writing jams
       Market news
       May writing challenge
       Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for December submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback


| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

2005 is the year of the Bear!

Wait... wasn't 2004 the Year of the Bear?  It must be her decade.
Elizabeth Bear sold two more novels this month, and another short
story, all of them workshopped.  She told us, "In case you were
wondering if the Orkshop works. It works."

And May is a month of firsts.

Peter Mackey sold his first story ever, he says, "after several
unsuccessful years of making submissions -- although I guess that's
not too unusual a break-in period!" Peter is joined by Chris Manuncy,
who wrote that "several months after I joined OWW, I sucked it up and
started sending out a few pieces to a few places" and the result was a
sale.  Chris added, "I'll note for new OWW folks that I had very mixed
response from critters; it was love/hate on this story when I posted
it, but the response was valuable to me whether the critter liked it
or not."  And Nora Jemison sold her first story to a SFWA-eligible
market. It was also, she said, "the first story I posted on OWW."

Read all the details of these and a dozen other success stories in
this month's Sales and Publications.


APRIL CRIT MARATHON PRIZES

The top reviewers in the marathon were Susan Curnow, Melissa David,
Miquela Faure, Bonnie Freeman, Daniel Sackinger, and Stelios
Touchtidis, who win a variety of books. HUGE thanks go to Walt
Williams for organizing this year's Crit Marathon, and to Jodi Meadows
for, um, organizing Walt's organization. And thanks to everyone who
participated this year.  The real winners are everyone who got the
reviews, and, more importantly, those who gave them -- giving good
reviews is still the best way to improve your own writing.


NOVEL SALES SPREADSHEET

OWW member Melinda Goodin has updated the _Locus_ novel sales
spreadsheet from September 2004 to March 2005 and made it available
from her website at:

http://www.members.optusnet.com.au/~mgoodin19/0904_0305_Locus.xls

She explains: "No sign-up is necessary and there's no charge, although
it would be nice if you dropped a note in my guestbook to say hi. If
you haven't heard of this before, I'm converting the 'books sold'
portion of the People and Publishing column into an Excel spreadsheet
as each _Locus_ issue arrives.  Why bother, you may ask? Well, in
Excel format, we can re-sort information to find out which authors
have been selling what to whom. Which agents are representing new
authors? Which publishers are buying new authors? This is part of my
'get to know the agent market' mission for the year and I'm happy to
share it with the OWWers who've helped me so much."

She adds that all feedback is welcome, including "hey, that's an OWW
member" or "you misspelled that person's name."


STOP PREPOSITION ABUSE!

OWWer Jon Paradise confesses: "I've long been a big
prepositional-phrase abuser in my fiction. Something someone recently
mentioned online somewhere made me wonder if it might be both possible
and a good idea to create a preposition-finder for Word. So I did. The
preposition-finder macro lets you set the prepositions to be found, as
well as the acceptable numbers of prepositions per sentence and per
paragraph, and when it's run, if there are too many prepositions it
highlights them different colors, one for too many in a given
sentence, and another if the total per paragraph was exceeded. Runs on
Word 2000 for sure, and probably earlier and later versions as well."

He says that if anyone would find it a useful tool they can look him
up in the Member Directory and he'll send a copy of the code.


LET THE ODYSSEY BEGIN

We recently reported on the number of OWWers attending Clarion this
year. Two members are also attending the Odyssey Workshop, taught by
OWW's very own Resident Editor for Horror, Jeanne Cavelos.  Scott
Andrews and Maggie DR will have six weeks of intense writing to hone
their craft.  We wish them luck and happiness!  For more info on
Odyssey, go to: http://www.odysseyworkshop.org/


MIDWEST WRITING JAMS

Tor novelist and short story writer Tobias Buckell is sponsoring the
second annual Midwest Writing Jams in Bluffton, Ohio.  The dates are:

*June 3-5 2005: Short Story Writing Jam
Guest: author/editor Mike Resnick
A weekend away to get a story critted and work on something new while
around other authors.

*June 10-12 2005: Novel Writing Jam
Guest: agent Steve Mancino of JABberwocky Literary Agency
A weekend away to get a novel proposal critted and work on something
new while around other authors.

More details in full at http://www.tobiasbuckell.com/workshop


MARKET NEWS

Mailing list regular James Stevens-Arce forwarded this market that we
hadn't seen elsewhere:  BASH DOWN THE DOOR & SLICE OPEN THE BADGUY:
Humorous Tales of Swords & Sorcery
(http://www.fantasistent.com/submissions). "Submission Period: Jan. 1,
2005 to Aug. 1, 2005. Reading Period: Aug. 10-30, 2005; responses will
be mailed by Sept. 5, 2005. Rights: 1st World Publication Rights in
the English Language for a term of five years. Pay: 4-6 cents per word
upon acceptance of final draft, as an advance on pro rata (based on
final page-count) share of 35% of net revenue."


JUNE WRITING CHALLENGE

From Jodi, Challenge Dictator, Unicorn Warlord, and general menace:

Look out! Or look through! June's Challenge is...

Windows!

Remember: Monthly challenges are supposed to be fun, but don't forget
to stretch yourself. If you normally write fantasy, try SF. If you've
never tried space opera, here's your chance. It doesn't have to be
great. It's all about trying new things.

Please don't post your challenge pieces to the workshop until June
first. Include "June Challenge" in your title so you can show off how
fancy you are to all your friends.

For more details on the challenges, check the Challenge home page at:
(http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html).


MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION

How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi
(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a
fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks
and some post offices).  If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).

Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not.  We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member.  Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.

Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them.  So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip
for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!

For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml


| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors.  Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.

Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, Karin Lowachee, and Kelly Link,
and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni
Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their
editorial reviews are archived on the workshop.  Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices."

This month Charlie puts on his editor's hat to fill in for Jenni Smith-Gaynor (who is moving) and Karin Lowachee.

Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!

Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
SHADOWKIN - CHAPTER 1 PARTS 1 and 2 by Matt Horgan

The first three paragraphs of this submission are a perfect example of
when -- and why -- it's sometimes okay to tell, rather than to show:

    Nick's odyssey began in 1968 when his brother Christopher
    disappeared into the wall.

    The Tillbrooks lived in Bethel Park, a suburb squatting in the
    hills ten or so miles south of Pittsburgh. This was not the
    rejuvenated and reborn city Pittsburgh is today, but the decaying
    carcass of a steel-mill town. The city had the foul, corrosive
    odor and taste that came from years of industrial misuse. Even the
    Steelers stank in 1968.

    The world sloped in all directions to their house, which sat at
    the bottom of a bowl, the road like a 'U' pointing up to the
    heavens sometimes discernible through the smog. Nick wouldn't
    realize until years later that their house sat at the intersection
    of all the hills surrounding it, in between them all.

The opening sentence is a perfect hook. It sustains our interest,
allowing the author to build more slowly to Christopher's
disappearance.  And it keeps our interest focused on Nick afterward by
establishing immediately that this is his story.  The first sentence
in the third paragraph tries to do too many things; the "world sloping
in all directions toward their house" and the "road like a 'U'
pointing up to the heavens" literally point our attention in opposite
directions and at two different things. But that's easy to fix, and
the details are good.

This chapter is posted as "cross-genre" and right now there are
elements that point both toward fantasy and horror.  Christopher's
disappearance has a very other-worldly feel to it -- young children
are often snatched into the world of Faery. The house "at the
intersection of all the hills surrounding it" also has the feel of a
magical location. The reference to "Nick's odyssey" makes me think
that he's going to go, eventually, in search of his brother. All of
these are fantasy elements. They're reinforced by the title, the
italicized "greenness" of the world in the next scene, the mention of
the leprechauns in the parade, and Nick's impression of beings flying
around the room when he's in the hospital; I thought those were the
hospital staff, but it was ambiguous enough to make me think of
otherworldly creatures too. In any case, these elements taken together
work well for me.

I enjoyed the way the world was evoked. Details like:

-- summer storms, when the rain fell in marble-sized drops and the
gutters became a wild torrent.

-- Shelly's habit of bouncing her hand along walls and railings
wherever they went. By the time they'd walked the Canadian side of the
falls and ridden the Maid of The Mist, her hand had been black from
constantly tapping it along the safety railings. From then on, Shelly
couldn't win a round of hide and seek because her tapping let Nick
track her throughout the house.

-- She smelled clean, a mixture of dish soap, daisies and hairspray.

-- The movement around him seemed frantic, and then a black wedge
attached to a hand flew from over his head. It landed, roughly, in his
mouth, tasting like a dirty shoe.

-- He wore the blue pajamas his mother had brought him, with the fire
engine-red World War II biplanes diving, rolling and looping on them.

... although I'm certain these should be World War I biplanes instead.
There are other details, like the window air conditioner, which feel
slightly off for 1968. But overall the story gets enough things right
that I'm willing to go with it to see what happens next. I was very
engaged by Christopher's disappearance and Shelly's discovery of Nick,
and also by the way he keeps the curtain open in the hospital.

The exception to this is that the ages of the two boys needs to be
established much earlier.  I have a hard time telling how old Nick and
Christopher are.

Other elements in the story point towards a horror novel, and,
frankly, I am less taken by those.  These include Nick's loss of
speech for the rest of his life, and the use of electroshock therapy
on him.  I think it'll be very hard to write a whole novel from Nick's
POV, or about his "odyssey," if he never recovers his speech. If the
purpose of these chapters is to evoke a sense of horror, then they
rush by much too fast.  Once Christopher's disappearance is
discovered, many of the questions directed at him are going to be
about his brother.  I think his parents would sit by him in the
hospital, unresponsive as he is, and talk to him aloud asking the same
questions. Similarly, there is too much of a rush to get to the
horrific electroshock treatments.  In a novel, it can be a mistake to
play your high cards too quickly.  Without knowing where the novel's
going, I can't say whether that is what's happening here or not.  But
there are so many emotional and dramatic situations that could be
explored first, that it felt like it came too soon. Unless... it leads
directly into some transition or otherworld experience for Nick.

So, I don't know where this novel's going yet, and I'm not even sure
what kind of novel it's going to be.  But I like the fantasy elements
very much, and I think the novel will be stronger if it emphasizes
those.  I hope that Nick gets some kind of successful resolution to
the loss of his brother before it's all over.

Good luck with the next chapters!

--Charles Coleman Finlay
Author of THE PRODIGAL TROLL (June 2005)
http://www.ccfinlay.com


Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
HELEN HEAVEN, CHAPTER 1 by Ed Hoornaert

This is a wonderful opening chapter. Janet is an amusing, sympathetic,
fully-realized character. A forty-year old childless woman whose
husband just left her for a pregnant girlfriend half her age, Janet
has decided to re-attempt the dreams of her youth and become a famous
writer. Too aware of her own mediocrity, she's decided to risk
everything by going to an island where all the residents are afflicted
with the HNH virus.  Nine out of ten people who contract the virus
die... but the survivors produces brilliant works of art.

I was very engaged by Janet's self-absorbed and self-deluded thought
process. I loved the fact that she wasn't interested in creating art
for its own sake, but rather to impress Franklin and "show him" what
she's really worth.  This same focus on her ex-husband also affects
her interpretation of the boat captain's actions.  Her flare for the
dramatic creates tension, and reveal her character as the captain's
reactions are at odds with the expectations she creates for us.

The third character in this chapter is Billy Seaweed, the last of the
original residents of the island, and a virus survivor. It's a nice
expositional trick, because we get to see what the infection looks
like from inside, as we follow his crazy thoughts and crazier actions.
We also get to see how Janet is different from most of the other
people who come to the island. She doesn't fit Billy's expectations
any more than the boat captain fit hers.

There are many funny passages in here, but my favorite is Janet's
panicked reaction where the captain tells Billy that he's brought him
a mom.  Janet's joke at the end of the chapter, and the paragraph of
description before it, shows her in a better light.  She has reserves
of strength, she is able to see beyond herself, even if she's a bit
myopic to start with, and she has a sense of humor despite the stark
reality of her current situation.

The pacing is also fantastic. This is a quick read, and didn't feel
anything like 5000 words.  Overall, I haven't read any SF like this
recently.  I don't know where it's going, and I don't know if the
author can sustain Janet's interior voice, which drives this chapter,
for a whole book.  But I'm very interested in finding out where this
goes and will be reading Chapter 2.  Good work, Ed.  Press on!

--Charles Coleman Finlay
Author of THE PRODIGAL TROLL (June 2005)
http://www.ccfinlay.com


Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"The Green House" by Sandra McDonald

This is a beautifully written, somewhat quiet story about a man who
leads an almost supernaturally ordinary life, who then discovers that
his origins are rather out-of-the-ordinary. All the non-fantastic
elements are extremely well-drawn: Seth's father's life at the
retirement community, Seth's rather lonely sexual habits, his
go-nowhere job with the city, cleaning up roadkill and the nickname
("Squirrel King") that goes with it. It's extremely rare to see a
writer pay this much attention to someone's job, and it's the kind of
detail that really pulls me into a story. Seth apparently has learning
difficulties, and is, at best, an extremely unambitious person. That's
also nice, although it would be good to know what first attracted Rob,
his lover, to Seth. Seth seems to be a nice guy, but he doesn't have a
lot going for him. Maybe he's really hot? Or maybe Rob just likes
taking care of damaged things? Having said that, the small details
about the relationships here ring true: Seth and his boss, Paul; Seth
with his one-time lover, Rob; Seth with his father. The dialogue is
almost always note-perfect.

Seth sees ghosts, and at first I assume that he sees ghosts on a
regular basis, but the story doesn't make this clear. The only ghosts
in the story are the fisherman, and the people in the Green House. And
one of them isn't actually a ghost at all: it's his father. Rob points
this out, but the story doesn't really address it. This element just
doesn't seem fully worked into the story. For example, does Seth see
the ghosts of animals? After all, he's working with roadkill. You'd
think he'd have certain opinions about death, and about what lingers
after death. And if the woman he sees in the green house is his
mother, why doesn't he recognize her? And when it turns out that Seth
is the product of an enchanted acorn, all of this becomes even more
confusing. Apparently this is a world where there are ghosts and also
powerful supernatural beings who make bargains with humans. We don't
find out enough about the ghosts, and we find out about the fairies
too late. And what kind of bargain did Seth's parents make? What price
did they pay? Why have they kept it a secret from Seth, and how has
his life changed, once he's revealed his secret to his father, and his
father has told his secret to Seth? What does the supernatural world
want from Seth?

The story begins with the demolition of an old house, where Seth sees
the ghost of a woman looking down out of a bathroom. Even if we don't
need to know upfront that Seth and his parents once lived in the Green
House, we do need to know that Seth feels something when he looks at
the house: that he feels some kind of connection or pull. It would
also be great to get some details about the house where Seth did grow
up. What his childhood was like. What his relationship with his
parents was like. We don't know enough about Seth's mom -- her death
must have affected him as well as his father. Did she know that Seth
was gay? Would she have cared? And what was significant about what the
ghost of his mother was doing in the bathroom?

When the ranger approaches Seth in the park and calls him "Brucie
Hawthorn," I don't understand what he means any better than Seth does.
Seth thinks that the ranger is disapproving because he's gay and
cruises the park -- I wonder if the ranger is somehow aware of the
supernatural world and of tree spirits -- if he feels that Seth is an
agent of some powerful being. If so, you're coming perilously close to
an extremely bad pun about fairies, and this doesn't seem like the
kind of story where that's going to add anything. In any case, it's
too obscure for me to make sense of the encounter. And if you're
trying to set up the end of the story, as you seem to be, by having
Rob explain the name, it doesn't work. It feels simultaneously too
easy and too unlikely.

A few small nitpicks: when Paul tells Seth that he doesn't need to
come back to work for a while, it feels too abrupt. Seth and Paul have
a somewhat familial relationship. We should sense that Paul feels
guilty about taking the work away from Seth.

You use the speech tag "he asked Seth, with an arch of an eyebrow."
This kind of speech tag always feels like cliched bad writing. People
in stories are always furrowing brows or arching eyebrows, and it just
always feels extraneous and kind of clumsy.

The poem that Seth's father has written is really, really terrible. I
know that people do write bad poetry, but it's so bad that it kicks me
right out of the story. Maybe you can make the poetry a little less
painful, a little more strange and outsider-artsy instead. The other
thing about the ending which I both like and dislike is that Seth
realizes that "Truth could not always be deflected, but sometimes it
could be delayed." Really, is this the most healthy of happy endings?
Isn't it far stranger to discover that you're the child of a
supernatural being than to discover that your son is gay? Doesn't he
have any follow-up questions for his father? What does it all mean?
Having said this, I love the self-realization that "he was the gay,
dyslexic, only child of a woodsman and his wife" (although I'd cut the
second half of that sentence: "or so it would seem".) And was his
father a woodsman? Does Seth even know what a woodsman is?

The final sentence ("I brought you some doughnuts," Seth said,
dangling the bag, and left it at that.") is terrific.  Good luck
rewriting this. If you can approach the fantastical details with the
same perception, sharpness, and thoroughness that you've used to
outline Seth's life, you're all set.

--Kelly Link
Editor of TRAMPOLINE and co-editor of YEAR'S BEST FANTASY & HORROR
http://www.kellylink.net/


Horror Editor's Choice: none this month.



| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews.  After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!

If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.

The Honor Roll will show all May nominations beginning June 1.
Meanwhile, here are two advance highlights from this month:

Reviewer: Sandra Ulbrich
Submission: The Crystal Gate - Chapter Fourteen  by Susan Elizabeth Curnow
Submitted by: Susan Elizabeth Curnow
Nominator's Comments: All my reviewers are wonderful. Anyone who puts
up with my bursts of speed and fragile ego, has to be, but Sandra in
particular has stuck by me when she's in the middle of arranging (what
sounds to be) an elaborate marriage. Sandra has also taken the time
over and over to explain to me why a particular sentence is wrong. I
might tease her over her comma nits but they have been invaluable. Not
only that, it's finally sinking into my old brain, and that is a huge
achievment. She also has an amazing memory for detail, remembering
something I wrote four chapters ago and remarking on continuity, and
for making suggestions about my wilder ideas. So congratulations
Sandra, on teaching an old dog new tricks and on your upcoming
nuptials.

Reviewer: William Greeley
Submission: KITH AND KIN, Ch 3 Sc IV-V:  3107 words  by Chris Coen
Submitted by: Chris Coen
Nominator's Comments: Bill asked a lot of questions - not easy ones,
either - and in attempting to answer I learned a few things both about
the story I'm telling and the way I'm telling it.  Asking good, hard
questions like that is a trait to be encouraged.  Thanks, Bill!


Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during April include:  Joanne
Bradley, Susan Curnow (2), Laurie Davis, Linda Dicmanis (2), B.K. Dunn
(2), Miquela Faure (4), Bonnie Freeman (2), Tara Gilmartin, Michael
Goodwin, Jeanne Haskin, Elisabeth Hunt, Patty Jansen, Heidi Kneale,
Keong L, Chris Leong (2), Mel Mason, Roger McCook, Jodi Meadows,
Joshua Palmatier, Al Riney, Daniel Sackinger (2), Robert Sinclair,
Seth Skorkowsky, Janice Smith, Karen Swanberg, Ian Tregillis (3).

We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in April can be still found until June 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml


| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.

Sales and Publications:

Elizabeth Bear wrote us, "very pleased to announce the sale of two
books to Roc/Ace -- the heavily posted (twice!) BLOOD & IRON, which
was workshopped as SHADOWHAND in 2002 and as BRIDGE OF BLOOD & IRON in
2003, and its sequel, WHISKEY & WATER. Thanks go out to: Ruth
Nestvold, Kathryn Allen, Mel Melcer, Larry West, Rhonda S. Garcia,
Leah Bobet, Walter Williams, Randy Simpson, Villy Ellinger, Jeanne
Peltier, Bill McKinley, Hannah Bowen, Ilona Gordon, Beth Bernobich,
Penelope Hardy, John Tremlett, Kyri Freeman, Siobhan Carroll, Terri
Trimble, Jim Grady, Elizabeth McGlothlin, Shawn Farien, Marsha
Sisolak, Walter Williams... and probably some other folks whose names
are lost to antiquity, as that was two hard drives ago."  She also
reports the sale of a novelette to _Interzone_.  "Wax" was workshopped
as "Strike a Light," and she sends "many many thanks to Stella Evans,
Rhonda Garcia, Leah Bobet, Kathryn Allen, Terri Timble, Kyri Freeman,
and Tony Valiulis." Congratulations, eBear!

Leah Bobet sold "They Fight Crime!" to _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com). She told us "it's a April Fools
story (so technically a challenge story)," but she forgot to mention
it's the second year in a row she has sold her April Fool's story!
"And thanks go out to Elizabeth Bear, Amanda Downum, and Jaime Voss
for their crits and suggestions."

Mark Fewell's "After The Rain" has been accepted by _Astounding
Tales_. He tells us "This is yet another that had been posted on the
horror workshop before the workshops merged." _Astounding Tales_ also
accepted Mark's story "'A wish,' said the goddess."

Nora Jemison sold a slipstream short story called "Cloud Dragon Skies"
to _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com). She's excited
because it's her first SFWA-eligible sale! Look for it in August under
the name N. K. Jemisin.

Alaya Johnson sold "Among Their Bright Eyes" to _Flesh & Blood_ for
their fall issue.

Peter Mackey saw his SF short "The Observed" in the spring issue of
_Far Sector_. He informs us the story "was workshopped in two
incarnations in 2002 and 2003, and benefitted from a number of
insightful reviews. Abundant thanks to all who contributed their
comments and suggestions. And thanks to the OWW-SFF staff and
membership for continuing to keep this a lively, stimulating
environment." You're welcome!

Chris Manuncy sold "Cat Whisker Wound" to _Lady Churchill's Rosebud
Wristlet_.  "This story got lots of great feedback on OWW -- including
Robert Sinclair, Eric Bresin, Melissa Alsgaard, Cat Freeze, James
Lemacks, Andrew Ahn, chance, and probably one or two I didn't write
down, but am no less grateful to. Thanks!"

Sandra McDonald sold "Life Sentence" to the anthology TWENTY EPICS.
Since the conceit of the anthology is short epics, we're wondering if
she managed to tell one entirely in a single sentence...

Joshua Palmatier tells us "I just heard from my editor at DAW that
they plan on releasing THE SKEWED THRONE in January '06... in
hardcover!  Gah! I'm totally excited." Gah! We're totally excited too!

S. K. S. Perry didn't email us with the news, but we heard that he's
sold his sword and sorcery story "Harbinger" to the SHADOWSWORD
anthology, and we were happy enough that we decided to share it
anyway. Go Steve!

Sarah Prineas's story "Liberty Pipe" appeared recently in _Strange
Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com/2005/20050502/liberty-f.shtml).

David Reagan has been accepted to write a story for the Liquid
Laughter Project's first anthology, MEDICINE SHOW. He tells us,
"Authors were asked to send a story as an audition piece (I used a
workshopped story, naturally) and twelve were chosen to contribute.
Each story will be written in sequence after the previous story is
completed, serial-style.  I'm hitting in the two hole, with a July
31st deadline. I think this second sale might be sweeter than the
first. Now I just have to write a kickass story..."

M. Thomas had three sales to report! "Cicada" appeared in _Lone Star
Stories_ Issue #8, and you can look for "Buddha's Fall" in _Fortean
Bureau_ (http://www.forteanbureau.com) and "Fire and Ash," which may
or may not come out under the title "Devouring Majole," she warns us,
in _On Spec_.

Ray Walshe emailed us to say that "More Hero, Less Human"  sold to
_Amazing Journeys Magazine_ for their June issue.  He sends "thanks to
Carlos Jimenez-Cortes, Roger McCook, Ian Morrison, John Schoffstall,
Jeremy Yoder and many others for their valuable feedback."

We heard from Heidi Kneale that former workshopper Anne Wingate
published her workshopped novel RENTWING at _Fictionwise_
(http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/eBook31074.htm?r=5a9).


| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Number of members as of 5/20:  605 paying, 51 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 522
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews:  77.0%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews:  2.3%

Average reviews per submission (all submissions):  5.09
Estimated average review word count (all submissions):  687.29

Number of submissions in April: 449
Number of reviews in April: 2401
Ratio of reviews/submissions in April:  5.35
Estimated average word count per review in April: 773.30

Number of submissions in May to date: 236
Number of reviews in May to date: 986
Ratio of reviews/submissions in May to date: 4.18
Estimated average word count per review in May to date: 727.80

Total number of under-reviewed submissions:  46 (8.8% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 1
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 16
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 29


| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |


Got a helpful tip for your fellow members?  A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission?  Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter.  Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.

Until next month -- just write!

The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com


| - - Copyright 2005 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |

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