O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, October 2005
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!
| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
- Workshop News:
OWW blogs
World Fantasy Convention
November writing challenge
Strange Horizons fund raiser
Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for October submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback
| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We apologize for the long delay in this month's newsletter. We'd like
to pretend that FEMA was in charge of getting it to you, or claim that
kids' costume preparations just took precedence, but really it was a
perfect-storm combination of other pressing work obligations, travel,
health problems, etc. But the month's not over yet and you still have
a chance to kill Charlie -- for more details, check out the current
challenge.
OWW BLOGS
We've noticed that many OWWers have started blogging in the past few
years. In order to help members find each other's writing blogs,
we've created a new field for blogs in the member information form.
Just click on your info, update your member information, and add your
blog!
There's a large crowd of OWWers on livejournal
(http://www.livejournal.com), which also has a community specifically
for OWWblogs (http://www.livejournal.com/community/owwblogs). Kat
Allen has even created the first OWW user icon. If you blog, you
might want to check it out.
WORLD FANTASY CONVENTION
A large number of current and former OWWers, and OWW Resident Editors,
are going to attend the World Fantasy Convention
(http://www.worldfantasy.org/2005) in Madison, Wisconsin. Many of
them are going to be on the program, including R. Scott Bakker,
Elizabeth Bear, Mike Blumer, Leah Bobet, Samuel Butler, Jeanne
Cavelos, Charles Coleman Finlay, Kelly Link, Joshua Palmatier, Sarah
Prineas, and Paul Witcover. You can see the complete program here:
http://www.worldfantasy.org/2005/program-sched.html
NOVEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE
Jodi, OWW Challenge Dictator, Unicorn Warlord, and general menace,
writes:
"This month I want to try something a little different. If you don't
like it let me know and we'll go back to the normal topic/skill
challenges next month. :)
"Because I was teasing Charlie I would do this, November's Challenge
is a 'finish this story' challenge.
"Your first line is, 'It started the night they found Charlie dead.'"
Remember: These are supposed to be fun, but don't forget to stretch
yourself. If you normally write fantasy, try SF. If you've never tried
space opera, here's your chance. It doesn't have to be great. It's all
about trying new things. There's no word limit, no time limit, no
nothin'. Just have fun. :)
Please don't post your challenge pieces to the workshop until November
first. Include "November Challenge" in your title so you can show off
how fancy you are to all your friends.
For more details on the challenges, check the Challenge home page at:
http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html
STRANGE HORIZONS FUND DRIVE
_Strange Horizons_ is winding up its annual October fund drive. If
you read _Strange Horizons_, consider donating to them, the same way
you might subscribe to another magazine you regularly read. _Strange
Horizons_ has published many OWWers and been one of the pro markets
most consistently open to new voices and new writers. And if that's
not enough, they're giving away the usual assortment of cool gifts!
For more information, go to http://www.strangehorizons.com
MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION
How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
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Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
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member. Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.
Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them. So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
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for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
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For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
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Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml
| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.
Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, Karin Lowachee, and Kelly Link, and by
experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni Smith-Gaynor. The
last four months of Editors' Choices and their editorial reviews are
archived on the workshop. Go to the "Read, Rate, Review" page and
click on "Editors' Choices."
Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!
Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
SORDANEON--CHAPTER 4 by Linda Steele
Linda Steele's fourth chapter of SORDANEON has some meat on it. The
novel seems to be a mixture of high fantasy and manners, a political
story of intrigue and families that could be very captivating. By
chapter four, I'd really like to see what's at stake for both the
overall novel and the characters. It's not clear what Marc Frederick
wants, and Dorilian's entrance is too brief for us to find out if what
he wants matches what he needs.
Marc Frederick is a monarch who appears to be sympathetic and an
honorable man. But I'm not sure, yet, if I'm supposed to like him or
not, if he's going to interfere with Dorilian's plans for vengeance,
or if he's actually the protagonist in this very complex story.
Marc's section, which forms the central part of the chapter, gives us
insight into the man and his relationship with his wife, but there's
so much backstory mixed with current story, I believe most of it could
be spread out and pared down. Because there's no focus to this chapter
-- is this chapter about Marc and his conflict, about Dorilian and his
conflicts? -- the impact of everything is deflated. Choose the most
important details to reveal to us at this time, weave in the other
supporting bits, and lead the reader through the story. Try not to
overwhelm us with so much information and we will suss out the truly
shiny bits.
The "what's at stake" question is missing from this chapter. There's
plenty of history and commentary on the blood relations of characters
we haven't really seen yet. This, too, is problematic unless the novel
is actually a "novel of manners" such as Jane Austen perfected. But I
think SORDANEON is not exactly that kind of novel with its scathing
social commentary on gender roles and classism. We saw earlier that
Dorilian's quest for vengeance drives him, but without something to
balance that, he appears only to be a spoiled prince longing for
bypassed glory. The novel's "what's at stake" is unclear here -- but
there are hints and allegations.
A timeline was viewed by a Austell, a Wall Lord -- what makes one
eligible to be a Wall Lord is unclear -- whose "mind was broken" by
what he saw. The enigmatic Wall and its relative Rail are "magical"
entities the humans and others use. This is rather intriguing and I
wished there was more about the Wall and the people who are able to
come in contact with it rather than the seemingly unnecessary
diversion into politics. Bringing these two large portions of the
novel together, linking them with the "what's at stake" will
definitely make this chapter stronger, and in the end pull the reader
deeper into the plot.
As many of the commenters said about this chapter, the overabundance
of names and places is confusing. We should not need a family tree or
map to see who is talking and the subject to which or who they refer.
The overwhelming amount of information is complicated by references to
things not supported by context -- I'm not sure what makes one
Highborn, noble, or human. Clarification of the context is important
for guiding the reader through this somewhat complicated political
structure. Quite possibly, it's not complicated at all and the
exposition just needs to be pared down. Keep in mind that sometimes
less is more.
The same can be said of the names -- unless there's a reason why we
need to know someone's first and last name, place of birth or country
of origin, there might not necessarily be a need to see it in this
chapter. Is Marc Frederick his full name? Is he going to be referred
to as "His Majesty" or "Your Royal Highness" or some other title,
which seems to be missing here. He calls and is told by his manservant
that "Your Queen," his wife Apollonia, wants to talk to him, but she
never refers to him as "her King." The titles are unique (no Lords or
Vicounts here), but with all the references to class hierarchy, I'm
not seeing the difference as one might with Lord, Count, Vicount,
Baron, etc. Should the titles be based on a different scale -- merit,
birth, family standing -- we'd need to see that in context.
I really wanted this chapter to be about Dorilian since it opened with
him and the exposition of the Wall. I wanted to know more about the
Wall and see some hint of its purpose tied with the characters, that
greater "what's at stake." Marc Frederick's introduction could have
its own chapter and would be a great place to show us more about this
rich world. There's also plenty of descriptions of clothing, but it
doesn't really give us anything else to sink our teeth into --I'd like
to see something that will really place the reader directly into the
action and bring the characters and conflict to technicolor
brilliance. Using descriptions from that tight 3rd person
point-of-view will also help the reader to gain some understanding of
the characters. Soil, wind, air, building, scents, textures, weight,
and so forth all can add elements to the visceral feeling of the
world. Try using some of those descriptives rather than always going
for the clothes, because unless the fabric and cut are foreign and
part of the overall "what's at stake," I only need to see the bare
minimum to get the maximum impact.
This story has great potential, but its slightly overwritten style and
lack of focus are weakening what could be a compelling read. Give us
that "what's at stake" and keep it in the forefront of the plot.
Everything these characters do, say, and react to should lead the
reader down the path towards the "what's at stake" answer and the
events that unfold because of that answer.
--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books
Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
GENESIS RENEWED - CHAPTER 1 by Rick Shaw
This is a post-apocalyptic world ravaged by an unknown plague. The
survivors are somehow immune and range from a father with two
remaining children to a military officer and her sister. Introducing a
sense of family early on gives the reader something easy to identify
with -- in such a situation, one's family would be the primary
concern. The situation is presented briefly, like a news broadcast,
which worked for a way to recollect the events before drawing the
reader in more deeply with the characters. However, the brisk style
did carry through and I think was ultimately detrimental to involving
the reader in the horror of the situation and desperation of the
characters.
I'd like to start with some technical suggestions. Watch the use of
commas and inserting too many adjectives. "Vibrant" and "towhead" can
imply beautiful, and "sprawling" for a tree implies that it's old.
Compare: "Four days ago he buried Michael, a vibrant, intelligent,
little towhead, wrapped in his mother's arms, at the foot of the old,
sprawling, Valley Oak the beautiful four-year-old boy loved to climb."
To: "Four days ago he'd buried Michael -- a vibrant, intelligent
little towhead who was now wrapped in his mother's arms at the foot of
the sprawling Valley Oak the four-year-old had loved the climb."
Or consider: "Will and Pat were amazing -- so completely in love"
Amazing is one of those throwaway words that don't really say much in
a narrative. Why not just "Will and Pat were so completely in love"?
And: "He hurt for his brother; feeling the anguish he knew Will was
enduring." The last half after the semi-colon is redundant.
On the other hand, some of the writing is spot on. Consider: "The
numbers dropped cruelly after the fifteenth. First not to answer the
phone were Dave's parents in Oceanside, then Kate's mother, her
brother's family in Ohio, and her sister in Seattle." Though these
details are perfunctory, they convey the brisk nature of this disease
and the helplessness of hearing nothing but silence on the other end
of a line.
I'd also like to focus attention on the dialogue tags. For example:
"Do I just sit here... waiting to die?" Will asked, thinking out loud.
There's no need to break up the dialogue with that tag, as it's
obvious he's thinking aloud. Or consider these three examples:
"You have to, Will. It's what Pat would have wanted; Mom and Dad too,"
Dave tried to encourage his brother.
Will changed the subject; "You remember Danny's birthday is in three
days, right?"
"Yeah, I know. I'll do something. Hell of a way to turn sixteen. Your
whole world dies, your mom and brother a week before, and it's your
birthday..." Dave changed directions, "I need to call Colton. All
right? You stay positive. Call me later if you want to talk," Dave
offered.
The tags on the dialogue are redundant. It's implicit within the words
that he is trying to encourage, that Will changed the subject, and
that Dave made an offer. It's important to tag dialogue so the reader
doesn't get lost as to who is speaking, but repeating information
weakens the immediacy and power of the writing. For longer tags,
describe how things are said, or attach action or gesture to it that
the characters might do as they are speaking. Have faith in your
dialogue.
Now, on to the heavy bits -- the rape of Dana and Jessie. Writing
about rape is a risk for any writer, but I have a several specific
concerns here. First, the story jumps into the rapists' headspaces.
Why? It becomes voyeuristic at that point. Victimized women in this
situation seem all too easy a plot device and the true consequences of
such awful acts aren't given much contemplative room, so the women are
reduced to objects. The rapists obviously see them that way, but we
don't want the readers to view them the same. Treating rapes as an
incident to incite story without giving the proper weight to it will
alienate or even annoy readers. It's a sensitive subject and any
writer has to be careful not to treat it so lightly. Second, the scene
is cut perfunctorily, as well, and leaves the reader feeling as if the
scenes are just tossed in there as easily as the women are tossed
about. Finally, introducing Dana as a competent officer in a crisis
doesn't meld with her disregard for safety at the mall. Wouldn't she
be aware of the threat once she's outside the base and not be so
easily trapped? Military people, especially at this point perhaps,
would have an in-built paranoia in desolate situations. In other
words, she is taken too easily. Especially with her sister with her,
you'd think she'd take even more precaution once outside the base. It
doesn't make sense that she'd approach the situation so naively.
Overall, a plague situation, survivors, and -- one assumes from the
title -- some kind of renewal of the species is a tried and true idea
in future fiction. The writing here is competent, though a tad too
brisk and empty. Slow down the narrative a little and steep the reader
in the horrors of this post-apocalyptic world. Spend more time
involving the reader in the physical landscape of the places here,
from the suburban desolation to the wider one of a mall or a highway
or a military base. Recall films like "28 Days Later" or other
plague-blighted worlds -- the images of somewhere large being so empty
are inherently horrifying. Paint those kinds of pictures to flesh out
this situation and it will draw in the reader to the characters'
plights and give this opening chapter the full power inherent in its
premise.
--Karin Lowachee
Author of BURNDIVE and CAGEBIRD
http://www.karinlowachee.com
Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"The Stud" by Lizzie Newell
This is a nicely written draft of a promising science-fiction story
which reminds me a little of the work of Ursula Le Guin and Eleanor
Arnason. The dialogue is strong, and the descriptions are vivid. I'm
going to quote the entire first paragraph of the story, because it's
such an excellent example of the sort of first paragraph which will
hook an editor:
"For the three years between the conjunction of the two moons, my
father Teakh had prepared for his imminent marriage: planning, lifting
weights, and practicing graceful movement in the hangar between the
flying machines. His fellows in the clan coastguard had ribbed him for
dancing in anticipation of the spawning moons when women conceive
children. This marriage would produce me, his eighth son."
What's so successful about this paragraph? Its compression, for one
thing. The writer has established not only character, but setting,
culture, what genre we're reading, and who is narrating the story to
us. The details are also telling -- deeply individual and just a
little quirky. We know what Teakh does for a living, and we also know
what kind of person he must be. In the next few paragraphs, Teakh is
blindfolded, which means that we get a great many sensory details
about the place where Teakh has been brought. The description of
Teakh's wedding finery and jewelry -- "Gold beads, pearls, sequins,
and tiny jasper fish were braided into his hair. The jewelry looked a
hell of a lot like fish lures and salmon eggs or maybe herring roe."
-- rings true as detail, and are nicely worked into descriptions of
the smell of fish guts and sound of scaling knives and men at work.
I would work a little more on the parts where we find out why Teakh is
so valuable as a husband.
"He'd heard it all before how he had the genetics of the perfect
father: loving, altruistic, and devoted. Despite his much-touted
predisposition for devoted monogamy, he had married seven times and if
all went as planned, he had fathered seven children who would all be
as devoted, loving, and altruistic as he supposedly was. Disgusted at
the farce of it, he pshawed. Altruism was learned behavior. He acted
in his own self-interest to please himself."
As exposition goes, this feels a bit canned, a little bit easy. The
sentence "Disgusted at the farce of it, he pshawed" is clunky --
old-fashioned, and also out of place. And the story itself suggests
that Teakh is something out of the ordinary. It might be interesting
to go into the idea of altruism a bit more deeply. You could mention
folk stories in Teakh's culture of heroes who behaved altruistically,
or give Teakh the memory of an altruistic action which is his
touchstone for behavior. Later on, we're told that "Teakh demanded
both loyalty and high status in his brides." But what does "loyalty"
mean in these circumstances? What benefit has Teakh gained from his
other marriages? A bit later, we're told that Teak has searched for
his children and has also courted some of the women he's married. But
since the marriage that the story is centered around is one in which
husband and wife spend a single night together, and the husband
remains blindfolded throughout that night and might never learn
anything about his bride, the way that his other marriages (and
courtships) have worked is unclear and contradictory. You'll need to
elaborate a bit more on different kinds of contracts and formal
arrangements, and also make it clear what rights husbands in this
culture commonly possess.
As the story goes on, things begin to feel a bit rushed. Plot begins
to overwhelm character, and unlikely but convenient things happen to
advance the plot, such as Teakh overhearing the conversation about
fidelity and marriage between his bride and her sister. I might
believe this more if Teakh realized that he was meant to overhear this
conversation, or if the overheard conversation was interesting for
other reasons, but not quite so pertinent! And it undercuts the
somewhat elegiac and romantic and funny tone of the story, which is
being told by an extremely proud child about how his parents met. Much
better if the first thing Teakh heard his bride say was something
witty or strange, ferocious or mysterious.
On a related note, I would suggest cutting the asides from Teakh's
point of view, as his aunt and his bride's mother talk about the
marriage arrangement. These asides may feel like an ingenious way to
pass on information about Teakh and his culture to the reader, but
instead they feel out of place and oddly enough, they make Teakh seem
less likeably and intelligent as a character. There's too much
head-tossing and sulkiness, and as far as character development goes,
it would be far more interesting if Teakh attempted to ignore the
conversation by reciting poetry to himself, or thinking about types of
fishing lures. Don't rush this story, and don't feel that you have to
explain everything from Teakh's point of view. After all, we're
actually being told the story by Teakh's child, although sometimes the
story seems to forget this. It's not so likely that Teakh has gone
into great detail about everything he thought while his aunt was
extolling his virtues. It's far more likely that he would tell his
child how he used to silently recite whatever form of dirty or
uplifting verse his culture practices.
I would also be careful about making the distinction between Teakh's
avuncular love for his nieces (at another point, mysteriously, it's
just one niece) and the love he longs to lavish on his children.
Unless the reader can see examples of how much he loves his nieces as
individuals, we're not likely to be convinced that he'll be a good
father to his own children. Instead his longing for them comes across
as daydreams of the things that are just out of his reach. Why hasn't
he kidnapped his son Gadid and gone off to live in the wilderness? How
likely is it that Gadid's mother will sell her son, in any case? It
takes more than money to buy a child: surely both sides have to be
willing. Surely even contract husbands can buy black-market tokens or
reports of their children: it would be good to see Teakh cherishing
something of this sort. And make the reader care about Teakh's eldest
son, Gadid, as something more than an abstraction. The ending of the
story, which feels more than a little abrupt, doesn't even tell us
whether Gadid was ever rescued.
The description of the consumation of the marriage is well-done. It's
hard to write a good, strange sex scene, but this one is both. On the
other hand, I find it very hard to believe that Teakh only has sex
once every three years, and that before he sees his bride naked,
illicitly, that he's never seen a naked woman before. Really? Does his
culture only allow sex for procreation? Again: really? And are men
really kept so far away from women? Why? This is stretching the
plausible limits of fiction a bit far, based on what we know so far
from the story, but I suppose that if you go back and rework things so
that we can see Teakh's world a little more clearly, and if you
provide enough telling details, anything goes. Good luck with the
rewrite. Teakh is, for the most part, an extremely likeable character,
and this story compelled my interest from the very first paragraph.
--Kelly Link
Editor of TRAMPOLINE and co-editor of YEAR'S BEST FANTASY & HORROR
http://www.kellylink.net/
Editor's Choice, Horror:
"The End of the World, On CNN" by Sachin Delacroix
We've all seen the world failing before, but this version, with its
television newscaster interludes, feels fresh enough to keep me
reading. And the story builds toward a satisfying, if unhappy, emotion
at the end.
The setting is science-fictional -- a series of disasters is
destroying the world, one person at a time. As the rest of the world
falls apart, Garret White falls sick to a mysterious illness but tries
to hang on long enough to see his son graduate from high school.
Garret's son, Danny, has problems of his own, but Garret avoids
dealing with those problems just surely as he's in denial about his
own disease. This creates incredible tension between them just when
they both need the support and comfort of each other.
It's been argued that science fiction is a setting, and horror is a
mood. It's also been argued -- recently, at Context, on a panel I
shared with F&SF editor Gordon Van Gelder and Stoker-winner Gary
Braunbeck -- that SF and horror are incompatible. The panel disagree,
and this is the sort of story that disproves the argument. The mood of
this story is definitely horror, and the SF elements all work toward
creating that mood of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair.
The second scene is a good example of what works best, on an emotional
level, in this story. Here's the opening paragraph:
At dinner, Danny is quiet as I prattle on about work, mortgage
payments, summer jobs and other tiresome inanities. Quiet, and then
when there is a brief lull in the one sided conversation, he unleashes
a cryptic statement that does much to increase my sense of unease:
"Dad, I have to tell you something." The waiter brings us a bottle of
Pinot Grigio, and I pretend not to notice the small bluish blotch on
this young man's neck that looks like a hickey, and pretending not to
notice becomes a way of life after a while, one that most people have
had very little trouble slipping into. "Danny, you look good today."
Combining Danny's comment in the same paragraph with Garret's
response, and surrounding it with both the "tiresome inanities" as
well as the "small bluish blotch" sets up the contrast between the
ordinary and everything that's wrong. The way Garret ignores his
son's statement reveals his deep investment in pretending that
everything's normal when it's not.
I also admire the courage of the longer sentences in this story. I
found this one very effective for communicating the accumulation of
problems:
And that's not all that matters to me and I'm looking at him now, and
I'm trying to think of something to say that will shatter this wall
that's been laid down between us, brick by brick, layer by layer, over
the course of the last ten years, something that will somehow allow us
to talk to each other like normal people instead of walking on
eggshells, afraid of hurting each other's feelings all the time, and
all I come up with is, "You look sharp today, Danny. I like your
shirt," and he nods slowly and then he looks like he's about to weep,
and before I can call him on it the expression vanishes, and he's this
apathetic, unfathomable stranger who's been living under my roof for
eighteen years, and who I don't know a goddamn thing about, and then
he gets up and goes upstairs, and I hear a door close followed by an
audible click.
The relationships -- between Garret and Danny, Garret and Brianna --
feel both touching and true. And the details of the disaster, from the
creepy flower in the yard to the creeping fungus in the final scene,
add to both plot and mood. But at this point the story doesn't work
because of the opening scene, which is clumsy and cliched and, up to
the final couple paragraphs, ineffective. Here's the first sentence:
"You are Garret White, fifty-two years old, Caucasian male,
five-foot-eleven, two hundred and thirty pounds, blood type A." It
gives us a convenient description of the protagonist, but there's no
reason for her to recite this information at the beginning of a
doctor's visit -- it's either on the chart, or, with height and
weight, something they'll check while he's there. Similarly: "You
have one son, Daniel White, eighteen years old," the Doctor says. It's
clear why the story wants us to know this information, but there's no
reason for the doctor to ask this way.
In the end, Garret's age, race, height, weight, and blood type are
irrelevant to the outcome. He could be any age old enough to have a
son, any race, any height, any weight, any blood type -- the disaster
affects everyone. And there's no reason to introduce his son this way
when he can show up just as easily in the internal monologue. The
whole list of symptoms might be used to create a feeling of being
overwhelmed, but they don't pop up again in equal force in the later
descriptions of his illness.
Until this opening scene is pared down to the essentials, I wonder if
slush readers are going to get to the good parts. I would start with
"Have you noticed any skin discolorations on your body?" since that's
the symptom that comes up so often in the story. Then mix in the
internal exposition with just a few more questions, and cut to the
paragraph where she tells him what happens if his blood test results
are negative, and he thinks about why he's holding on and what he's
holding on for.
Give the opening scene the same focus and power the rest of the story
has, and the whole thing will improve to another level. Have faith in
the reader to catch on to the other details as the story progresses.
Good luck with this one when you send it out after revisions.
--Charles Coleman Finlay
Author of THE PRODIGAL TROLL and WILD THINGS
http://home.earthlink.net/~ccfinlay/
| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!
If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.
The Honor Roll will show all October nominations beginning November 1.
Meanwhile, here are two advance highlights from this month:
Reviewer: Ursula Warnecke
Submission: The Astrologer's Death by Barbara Gordon
Submitted by: Barbara Gordon
Nominator's Comments: "The encouragement and positive remarks were
appreciated - of course! But the specifics about unclear sentences or
paragraphs, places where the pacing slowed, and other points where
things could be tightened or clarified were the really valuable parts
of this review. Because I'm using some archaic words and syntax, it's
much more valuable to me to get 'this sentence is confusing' than a
general observation about period language being overdone."
Reviewer: Douglas Kolacki
Submission: A Case Of Identity by Paul Comstock
Submitted by: Paul Comstock
Nominator's Comments: "As I write more and more, I realize how little I
know about the art. Every once in awhile, an epiphany strikes which
propels you to a higher level of writing skill. No amount of reading
or analyzing can do it for you, it just has to happen, or come from an
outside source. Doug's review pointed out a flaw in my thinking about
dialog that I believe has propelled my writing in just such a way."
Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during September include:
Anthony Addis, Amy Alger, Kathryn Allen, Marlissa Campbell, Alex
Deitsch, Rebecca Domenico (2), Mike Farrell (2), Margaret Fisk,
Michael Goodwind, BR Hollis, Patty Jansen, Heidi Kneale, Martha Knox,
James Lemacks, Marshall Payne, Aimee Poynter, Nathan CW Smith, Michael
Staton, Linda Steele, Ian Tregillis, Zvi Zaks (2).
We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in September can be still found through October 31 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml
| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.
OWW Staff Sales and Publications:
Kelly Link's novella "Magic for Beginners," which appears in her new
collection of the same name, may also be found in the October/November
issue of _Fantasy & Science Fiction_.
Charles Coleman Finlay's collection WILD THINGS is finally available
in stores. He had a book launch for it at Bakka-Phoenix books in
downtown Toronto on Saturday, Oct. 22, where he saw current and former
OWWers like Leah Bobet, Karin Lowachee, Derek Molata, S. K. S. Perry,
and Helen Vorsters. And his short story "The Moon Is Always Full"
appears in the Oct. 31 issue of _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com/).
OWW Member Sales and Publications:
Elizabeth Bear has had a very good few weeks, selling a
pseudo-Victorian vampire detective novella, "Lucifugous," to
_Subterranean_, Czech translation rights for HAMMERED, an
as-yet-unnamed short story collection to NightShade books, and a
novelette, "Gone to Flowers," to the anthology EIDOLON I. Not to
mention the sale of "Los Empujadores Furiosos" to _On Spec_. Wow.
Mike Blumer signed a 5-book YA contract for The Secret Books of
Gabendoor. Book One is THE BOOK OF SECOND CHANCES, workshopped, of
course. He tells us "Now I have to create: Reader discussion guide,
trading cards, maps, bookmarks, door hangers, and a ton of other
stuff." Poor fellow!
Kimberly Colley's short story "Kiss, Jack" appeared in the October
2005 issue of _The Harrow_ (http://www.theharrow.com/). She also sold
her short story "Unrequited Frost" to _Aoife's Kiss_, tentatively
scheduled for publication in Sept. 2006.
Cat Collins' story "Breia's Diamond" was accepted for an anthology
forthcoming from Daw. She says: "I don't know any dates or details
yet, but the theme is 'Places to be; People to kill.' I'm mildly
ecstatic, to say the least. Cheers, and thanks to you all!"
Mark Fewell's story "The Woman In The Mirror" has been published in
_Dark Recess_ (http://www.darkrecesses.com) issue #1. The magazine can
be downloaded in .pdf format.
Adrian Firth wrote: "Kill the fatted calf, light the frankincense and
myrrh, and dance in the streets. I made my first short story sale!
_Reflection's Edge_ (http://www.reflectionsedge.com) accepted 'The God
of the Gaps.' Should be up in October. A googleplex of thanks to the
OWW team, and to reviewers Michael Merriam, Carlos Jimenez-Cortes,
Paul Lister, Jeanne Haskin, Lawrence Payne, F.R.R. Mallory, and also
some people whose names I've lost. You know who you are! Thanks again."
Donna Johnson sold her sword and sorcery flash "In Chains" to
_flashme_ for their October 31 issue. She says "I should thank
everyone who patiently helped me with it here and elsewhere,
especially Elizabeth Hull, Christine Hall and PA, Bob Allen, Teresa
Thorne and members of DII -- Thanks a bunch!"
Kevin Paul Jones sold his story "Curiosity," workshopped a couple of
times last year, to _The Harrow_ for publication sometime next year.
He says, "I'd like to thank everyone who offered advice and crits, I'd
thank you all by name, but I lost the individual crits to a dying
computer :)"
Martha Knox was published last month in _Chick Flicks_
(http://www.chickflicksezine.com/current/issue_home.html). She told us
that "the story is a SF story, 'Prima,' that I posted on OWW and
received many helpful crits for--thanks!"
Michael Merriam's story "Rija's Tale," which was workshopped on OWW,
appears in the fall issue of _Gryphonwood_
(http://www.gryphonwoodpress.com/). As if that's not enough, he also
sold his short story "Rainfall" to _Deep Magic_. He would like to
thank workshop members Alan Johnson, Becca Patterson, Jodi Meadows,
Amos Peverill, Karen Swanberg, and Dena Landon for their helpful
reviews and suggestions, adding "I could not have done this without
them!"
Egg-on-our-face dept.: Last month we forgot to mention Regina Patton's
first genre publication! Her SF short story "A Speck in the Universe,"
which she workshopped at OWW last fall, was published in the
August/September anniversary special issue of _AlienSkin_
(http://www.alienskinmag.com).
John Schoffstall sold his short story "Fourteen Experiments in Postal
Delivery" to _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com). It
will probably be published around March, 2006.
Calie Voorhis sold her first short story, "Afternoon Download," to
_Deep Magic_. She sends "Many thanks to SFF in general and my
reviewers in particular! Special thanks to Mark Reeder!"
Jeremy Yoder's true story "King of the Bus" sold to a bus anthology
called _Where Do We Get Off?Ê Armed Bandits, Angry Roosters And Other
True Tales of Global Bus Travel_ (http://www.windowseatpress.com).
| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Number of members as of 10/31: 590 paying, 61 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 457
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 75%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 4%
Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 4.96
Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 643.70
Number of submissions in September: 344
Number of reviews in September: 1666
Ratio of reviews/submissions in September: 4.84
Estimated average word count per review in September: 725.22
Number of submissions in October to date: 339
Number of reviews in October to date: 1325
Ratio of reviews/submissions in October to date: 3.91
Estimated average word count per review in October to date: 712
(Note: publication date was 10/31)
Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 39 (11.6% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 2
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 10
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 27
| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.
We're STILL offering two copies of Kate Wilhelm's book STORYTELLER,
along with red pencils (of course!) as prizes for the most helpful
tips/hints/advice submitted for the next newsletter, on the subjects
of:
--writing
--workshopping
--getting published
Look in our tips area (button on lefthand nav.) to see what we've
already got... good ideas that are already covered will not win a
prize! The best entries will be published in upcoming newsletters.
Until next month -- just write!
The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
| - - Copyright 2005 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |
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